Friday, 25 December 2009

D'oh!?

Four months and two weeks. Time since i got employed.

Almost an year. Time since my last post.

Can't remember. Time since the same ole template!

I suggest a make over for the blog. As you might have already noticed, I've started off with a little edit of the template. Pour in your comments, suggestions, ideas, Hello, Hi or whatever comes to your mind folks.

Wishing everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Cheers!

Saturday, 19 December 2009

Back in the midst of books again

My blog has not been updated for quite some time, except for the three links and the copied poem that comprise my last four posts. There is a lot to write about, a lot of things happening, light being shed on new things, and most important of all, I have actually started reading books again.

A colleague at work, with whom I regularly have intellectual discussions, suggested that I read Samuel P. Huntington's The Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order. The title of the book should suggest the kind of topics we discuss, if it does not, I will - it's mainly politics and sociology. And he even let me borrow his copy of the book. So I started reading it about two weeks ago, and I have not made much progress. It is certainly not the book and its contents that's keeping me away, it is something else, I will describe soon what.

Two months ago, while blog-trotting, I happened to read As'ad Abukhalil's blog - Angry Arab News Service. As I read more and more about him, I came to teh conclusion that, this was one person who truly believed in what he said. He is a socialist, and like me firmly believes that one day, the land of Palestine will return to its rightful people.
Browsing through the list of books by the Angry Arab, I happened to see the title "The Battle for Saudi Arabia - Royalty, Fundamentalism, and Global Power" and some more digging revealed that it dealt with Wahabbism and its hold on the Saudi regime. My interest in West Asian politics apart, I felt this was a book I want to read. Wahabbism has always been a philosophy that frightens me in a way. As a member of the Muslim community in Malabar, growing up in the 1990's, I have seen and experienced the kind of extreme expression of religion that Wahabbism leads its followers to. Think of a brand of Islam, that labels all the beliefs and traditions as blasphemy/heresy and says the one and only true religion is this crazy ideology that sprouted in Najd in the 1800's and grew up in the shade of Saudi petro-dollars. I have seen communities divided and heard about Masjid's being put under Administration because the over-zealous followers of the imported Wahabbism felt that they needed to take over the community in true styles of their original heroes. Wahabbism for me, is a shade of Islam that is so differerent from the Islam that I have been taught, that I grew up surrounded by, I saw people practice and I myself have tried to practice. The aspect of Islam that is distorted the most by Wahabbism is probably its stress on co-existence and tolerance. I knew I had to read this book.

I went to Landmark at The Forum in Bangalore and placed my order. They didn't have a copy in stock, so they told me I will have to wait. They promised to give me a call when the book arrived. Five weeks later, I hadn't yet received the call and I had to call them twice to get the book. Meanwhile my friend had given me Huntington's book and I had started reading it. But I decided to put it away once I had the Angry Arab's book.

So far, it has been a very good experience. As I turn each page, it reinstates in me the belief that I have always held about Wahabbism - that it is a complete contradiction to what Islam teaches and it is plainly wrong. The information that As'ad has put into his book about the nexus between the Wahabbi theology and the House of Saud is huge. I have not yet finished it, but hope to finish it in two days.

Then I plan to read Huntington's book. After that, it will be  "Mappila Muslims of Kerala, Society and Anti ColonialStruggles" by Dr. Hussain Randathani. It is published by Other Books, Calicut and although I tried, I could not get a copy in Bangalore. I am still in the hunt for the book, I hope to get a copy when I go home for vacation at the end of this month.

Happened to meet one more socialist. The number of socialists I come across at work amazes me. Maybe, socialism is not all dead and buried, after all.

PS: I also read Chetan Bhagath's 2 States. It was the first Chethan Bhagath book that I was reading, and contrary to my perception, the book turned out to be good.

Friday, 18 December 2009

IFFK - '09

Once every year during the hot wintry month of December in Kerala comes the visual treat of movie splendor - IFFK. I chanced upon being part of the fest only twice, but both times it gave me immense pleasure to see the world through the movies.

Being back in hometown only for a brief period and spending the first few days in cinema halls, it almost became a fashion asking me the question- have you come home to watch movies. But if those asking the question had gone for the fest, they would've known why. The film fest took my breath away the first time and didn't disappoint this time too. I got to see just 10 movies this time around, due to various reasons. So I'm not in a position to make any authoritative appreciation/criticism about the fest. But who cares I'm blogging. Now START CAMERA ACTION...














The movies I liked the most were My Secret Sky, Broken Embraces and Rithu. My Secret Sky talks about the life of two children in the farms of Africa after their mother dies. How they come to town to fulfill their mother's dream of entering a hand-crafted mat in a competition. The movie had all the elements - a serious theme, moments of joy, beautiful shots etc.. The spanish master Almodovar is back this year with Broken Embraces. The movie has complicated relationships akin to the directors style. And the whole mesh of relations unravel amongst awesome camera-work. Watching the movie in first row of the theatre, the areal scene in which the camera zooms in onto a car driving in a deserted highway - unforgettable.

Rithu is the latest offering by renowned malayalam film director - Shyamaprasad. The movie tells the story about 3 friends in the current generation mallu youth. Although the movie might not have garnered as much critical acclaim as the directors previous movies, I hold it close to my heart cuz I'm part of that group and could connect with the movie so easily. Some readers might've noticed that I borrowed the title of previous blog from tag line of Rithu. Another movie which I felt is very good is About Elly. The movie captured the tension of characters during a catastrophic incident very realistically.

One thing different from the previous IFFK was that this time we went for desi films too, instead of the all phorein policy. That was a revelation in itself. Watching Thaniyavarthanam and Dev D felt as good as watching movies from abroad. But somehow we failed to catch the French New Wave. The two movies in that category that we saw - Cleo from 5 to 7 and Pierrot goes wild felt pretty ordinary. Cleo had it's good moments, but the comedy in Pierrot was completely beyond us. Looking for Eric is an ok movie, the best parts being replay of goals being scored by Cantona. I'm still confused about the ending of Divine. If someone watches it, please explain.

Overall, the film festival was a very satisfying event. Last time the mix of movies were better cuz we got to see more movies which were purely entertaining. Maybe we got our selection of films to watch a li'l wrong. But that doesn't take anything away from how much we liked it. And would love to watch many more films... next December. CUT!

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Numb

The Linkin' Park song playing on songbird right now is so apt for my current mood. 1:00 am and you find out that the bug in the program has rendered your work of about 5 hours corrupted. You cannot but smile at the laptop and say this has to happen just now - 3 days before the DVLSI mini project submission.

How I wish the submission date wasn't extended last week and everyone would've been the same kinda ***t I'm in right now. The bright side is I get something to write on in the blog because.. because I dont have anything to do now! God save our souls..

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Life rolls on...

Sitting in Instrumentation Engineering class taken by our HOD. Its raining outside... yes, its raining in chennai. He is talking about how to improve the accuracy of some voltmeter so that there will be 5 significant digits by blah blah.... I am sitting there with an old tamil song running in my head - "Kanmani anbodu kaathalan..." from kamal hasan's movie guna. Thats on the movies to see list. Wondering why he cant talk about something more interesting like Formula 1, flight, gaming, graphic cards... maybe i am better off with him not talking about such interesting things in his dead mundane drone. Thinking of Formula 1, wonder how the sport will survive given the japanese exodus from motorsports in general. Many companies planning to leave the sport next year and Kimi yet to get a confirmed drive. Hoping he will be in Mclaren opposite Hamilton. Battle Royal.

Saw "Kerala Cafe" while i was in Trivandrum last weeekend. Very good movie. 4/5. Some of the movies were really top notch. Suraaj An Shyamprasad team up to deliver the worst of the lot. Mruthyunjayam deserves special mention. Island Express and Makal were also good. For those of you who are wondering what this is all about, Kerala Cafe is a compilation of 10 short movies of 10 different directors, cast and crew. Mammooty gets only a few moments but shines in those moments to prove why he is considered one of the better actors around. He swings the mood of the movie with just one heartfelt dialogue... brilliant. Suresh gopi puts up a lacklustre display and dileep plays the only sort of role he is good to play now - "pongachakkaran". Makes us think of the stark lack of new talent prevailing in the malayalam movie industry.

That line of thought takes me to the Star Wars movies. There is a world of difference between "not that good" acting and bad acting. Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker seemed a bit green to me in the first movie but credit to him for improving throughout the series and providing us with a good portrayal of one of the most remembered characters in movies, all time. But Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker in SW2: Attack of the Clones was just unwatchable. Thank God for SW3: Revenge of the Sith, else the whole prequel idea would have been nothing but a waste of time and money. One of the most loved movie series of all time and still gathering new fans, i think it wins us over because of the fact that it is not just about ultra cool lightsaber battles, big spacecrafts, humanoid robots, aliens but about the human spirit, the capacity to love, to trust and the will to redeem oneself given a chance. For me Empire Strikes Back was the best of the series followed by Revenge of the Sith and then 6,4,1 and 2. And whoever came up with the idea of having the 10 yr old Anakin fall in love with Queen Amidala deserves more than a kick up their @$$.

Will be in Trivandrum in time for IFFK, International Film Festival of Kerala :) . Hopefully, will watch some really good movies from all parts of the world and from all eras. The movies to watch list keeps growing as i am still to settle down into any sort of routine after getting here. OK, class is done. He is taking attendance, the whole purpose of being here for one hour. Off to the next class and mind wanders to new thoughts...

Tuesday, 29 September 2009

Rhythm of Life:The Road Trip

5.30 am: Beep..Beep..Beep...
6.55 am:Bus Stop..."Thiruvananthapuram Ordinary Limited Stop". "Phew......Ente Patti kerum". Let the fast bus come. ...No bus coming for 3 mins..... Sombody said"ChakkulathuKaavu ippo varum"...
7.00 am:"Thiruvananthpuram Limited Stop Fast Passenger"..No seat and the driver doesn't seem to be skilful..HMM...'will go in the next bus".
7.02 am: Yeah...one comes....."Seat undu"
7.03 am : Inside bus..... "Oru Thampanoor"......"Pettannu cash edukkada....Thamponoor ayalum Ulloor ayalum Jakkikku pullaaa....Sit Down Rosario."....
7.10 am....."Buhahahah"....My bus overtook the Ordinary Limited Stop Bus....I looked at the driver of that bus "I told ya....Buhahahah"
8.00 am ....Nokia 6030 polyphonic ringtone sounded, breaking the "pin drop silence" in KSRTC bus..It lasted only for 3 secs .Everybody in the bus felt uneasy ...Yes that is the signal indicating the departure of Qburst Technologies' bus from Vellayambalam...The KSRTC bus reached Palayam Underpass. The QBurst bus reached museum......Two scenes flashed on the screen...."Avide Qburst bus..Evide KSRTC bus"...."Qburst bus at LMS traffic light...KSRTC at Legislative Assembly"....The two scences flashed again and again in the screen...Everybody was on the edge of their seats....."Tsssssss...The KSRTC bus stopped at the PMG bustop with a sudden break"....Those people who were on the edge of their seats now seated properly...Yes....We are here before the Qburst bus..
8.10 am...I took my Nokia 6030 and pressed some swithes....At Pattom bus-stop people started dancing to the tunes of Nokia Express Music...But their joy lasted only for 4 secs. ...It was a missed call.....
8.15 am...Now Inquistivo is inside the Qburst bus,much to the discomfort of those who were dancing to the frequent message alerts received by Inquistivo's Express Music....Inquistivo seated himself on the backseat of the bus..which was empty, if it wasn't for me.
8.17 am...With his characteristic grin, resembling Mr.Homer in The Simpsons,Inquistivo pressed a secret code in his Nokia Express Music.....He was signaling "Master Boss Unnikuttan" about the arrival of Qburst bus.....
8.20 am..."Master Boss Unnikuttan" is now inside the bus....His face was grave....It seems that Uncle Luco has betrayed him again....He seated himself near us in the backseat....We didn't ask him anything about Uncle Luco.
8.30....Thomas Kutti got inside the bus from Sreekaryam....Thomas kutti was Master Boss Unnikuttan's school mate and had helped him in the "Settle a Beta Permanently".
8.40.....At Technopark Trivandrum......
..............Coming up.....Chapter 2:Harmony at Work

Thursday, 10 September 2009

Treading Unknown Waters

Some day in week 1: 11:30pm PD-220
Just back from my own beautiful moment of the day - the midnight walk back to my IISc hostel room listening to iPod. I didn't know whether Soumya, ma roomie, is back yet. Seems he's back early today and out talking to someone. Tomorrow it will be a week since I left my hometown.

IISc
I feel blessed to have been part of three awesome campuses. Right from the beauty of Loyola in school days, to the elegance of CET and now IISc. All three have something in common - unlimited greenery, and that's something I enjoy very much. It's said that the temperature in IISc is three degrees below the normal temperature of the city. All the roads are bound on both sides by trees. Though it's not the spring season, I can imagine how it would be during full bloom. None of the buildings are more than 2-3 floors high, each unique in design. They seem to pop their head occasionally out of the green and does not stand out from the surroundings. The main building is an exception. Made of some kind of white stone, just one view of it takes us to the grandeur of 1900s. Our admission procedure was held in the main building. Before that we'd to pick lot to decide our hostel room and I got PD-220.

Hostel
The walk towards my hostel room seemed an endless one, esp. with a bag full of stuff. I'd to cross a busy road. Thankfully the guard in the gate opposite guided me to the hostel. The room is a double room. It's really spacious with large wardrobe, well furnished and even a small balcony to top it all. There's also a terrace nearby. The area is very silent at night (which is pretty much the only time I'm there). My roomie is a bengali - Soumya. I got quite a shock when he messaged me for the first time telling name and informing that 'd arrived ;-). The name is pronounced Shomu, pretty nice guy about to do PhD in ECE dept. Though the hostel is about a km from main areas, I like it and the walk back to the room at night.

12:00pm PD-220, a week later.
CEDT
The department had impressed us a lot the first time we were here for the test and interview. On the official day 1 in the department, we were taken around the department, shown the labs and given a briefing about the subjects. Both Suraj and me felt like the labs comprised of our favourite subjects clubbed into one MTech course. The teachers were jolly, even overdoing it occassionally with chalus. Now we're past a week into classes. Labs are about to start soon. That's gonna be the tuff and time consuming part according to seniors and the dept would virtually be our second home. Four of our subjects have lab and we get to have a hands-on experience in electronics design.

September 5: U-47
Now in Sreejith's room. It's more than a month now. Starting to taste the real IISc life. The past month was pretty good with not much work. But towards the end we got to know what's going to haunt us for the next 22 months. Lab assignment submissions seems to be the worst of that nightmare now, but who knows what all are going to be thrown us at from now on. Lab work is enjoyable if you know how to do it. But sitting in front of some problem without a clue how to solve it for hours at a stretch is plain disappointing. Hmm.. Hope the situation gets better if we start studying. How to find time to that is another question.

Sept 7/8: Lab
Riding back to hostel at 4:00 am.

Wednesday, 12 August 2009

Find Me My Love

This darkness seems to surround me,
Taking me in and all my thoughts,

I seemed to have lost my way i know not when,

Its true i might soon see a splinter of dawn,

But right now i know i'm lost in this deep abyss of time,

I search for a hand that will lead me on,
For my journey is endless and my destination unknown,

All i need is a companion in this tunnel of desperation,

That someone who can show me that ray of hope i want to see,

I need that someone who in my silence will hear all my thoughts,

Find me my savior......Find me my love....

Hold my hand and let this wait end,

When my fingers would be entwined in yours in a bond of oneness,

And then will you wake me up from this dream to find me with you,

To give me my life,to give me my light...

And all the happiness and love i could ever ask for....

Saturday, 1 August 2009

Workshop woes

(Yet another incident from my CET life. Slight exaggerations here and there, as usual.)

Usually for Engg. students, third semester begins with a bit of relief. The feeling that 'we are also seniors' comes in and the insecure feeling is far gone. Besides that, they get relaxed, and start to master this unique technique of covering the whole syllabus on the day before the exam. The same happened with all my friends also. (I had started to apply it from first year itself.)

The easiest electronics lab in the whole of B tech course was in that semester. Electronics Workshop. But there, things were not that simple as I expected them to be. I stood inside the workshop, like a rabbit thrown into a lion's cage, in total dismay, in front of RM ma'am. Things got worse when I started to write the rough record. I had to submit it, then go and wait somewhere near the garden that we had in the middle of the dept. building, so that I can catch it when she throws it away. The throwing - catching process went on and I had to redraw pictures several times for some grave reasons like one leg of the resistor is shorter than the other, the angular distance between the legs of BC107 is not accurate enough etc. Later, when I got the first experiment signed, I was relieved, and felt like I had just completed half the requirements for a b tech degree.

But more bitter things were still in store for me. I couldn't attend the regular exams due to chicken pox. And that made me the only person to have a suppli in workshop. I attended the supplementary exam, got Hartley oscillator or something, screwed the whole thing up miserably, and failed again. That put me in one of the worst situations I had to face in my B tech life.

A s5 student attending the workshop exam with juniors.I felt like shit. I entered into the exam hall, and as soon as I saw the internal examiner, I knew that I was doomed. It was none other than S ma'am (who, later turned out to be our VLSI teacher). We were pretty familiar with each other by that time. When I had to go to the staff room related with the SB sir episode in s4, along with bond, Bimal etc., we had already had an encounter. At that time, she had blessed me with some divine words like "Nee orukaalathum gunam pidikkilla" (Translation will destroy it's beauty.) as if I had done something highly reprehensible. (Gosh.. but all that was for not writing class notes..!!)

When I was drawing the layout, she came walking towards me, with a disdainful look.

"You stay at MH. Don't you?"

"Yes ma'am"

"So you proud MH ite, you have no intention to complete the course in four years huh?"


I didn't know how to react. I was already a bit nervous. I wanted to ask her to give me some peace of mind. I knew that it would make her more hostile. So I kept looking at my answer sheet without saying a word.


"What is your first year gpa?"

"6.4"

Right then, she sat on a stool near to me. I knew that she was not gonna leave me soon.

"What was your entrance rank?"

"194"

"What about your tenth and plus two marks?"

"94 and 88"

"Don't you feel ashamed of yourself and what you are doing? You are letting your parents down in a big way."

She was snarling at me like I just raped someone right there.

"Why don't you tell all these on another occasion?" was all what I said in my mind. I just stopped drawing with a deep sigh. I looked at her with a 'What the fuck you want' kind of an expression.

She got more furious.

"What do you think of yourself.. huh? Now, all of you MHites do have a feeling that you have conquered the world. But once you get out of the college, you will know what real life is.. At that time, you will regret thinking of all these. But it will be too late.. Your parents will also suffer for what you are doing now.."

I decided to change the track, and tried to bring a sad expression on my face as if, I was deeply moved by her words. Shook my head in between and kept staring on the floor. "Oh.. you just opened my eyes!!" was all what I wanted to convey, and from her face, I knew that I had done very well..


I saw her face expression changing. She used her palm to support her chin, and her face looked like that of someone who is at the funeral of a close relative.

"You have done a few mistakes, but now you are worried about your future, right?"

Her voice was very soft.(Er... I mean.. the maximum softness that she could bring in her voice. of course, she has got her own limits..)

I nodded very slowly.

"Why you were not able to study properly?"

For a moment, I was blank. What would I say? I can't tell her that it was because I didn't give a fuck about studying. I couldn't figure out anything quickly. So I chose the option of silence.

After a few seconds, she leaned forward, and asked in a lowered voice.

"You have any problems?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, any mental problems?"

I felt like rolling over the floor and laughing, but I did respect her concern. Somehow, I managed to keep the sadness on my face, and replied.

"No, ma'am."

"Physical?"

I wanted to say something and abandoned the idea too quickly. I had to turn my face to the other side so that she wouldn't see me smiling. I retained the sadness, and turned back.

"No"

She crossed her fingers, and said very seriously..

"Anyways, we have to find a solution. Do you study at least an hour everyday?"

"Yes ma'am"

I replied without thinking much.

"No, you don't.. Because if you did, you should have scored at least 7.5"

"Er.. actually... I started doing so only in this semester ma'am.. "

"Hmmm... That's good. You should promise me that you will continue to do that.."

"I promise, ma'am"

"That's really good.. Now go on.. "

As she left, I felt totally relieved. Somehow, I managed an output that time.. But, the trouble wasn't fully over. Viva was still left.

As I sat in front of the external examiner, she, straight away, asked me to identify some components. My eyeballs bulged outwards as if I was looking at a ufo. Examiner got a clear idea of my pathetic condition and let me go very quickly..

So that was how the thing got ended, folks.. and the only thing left was a
promise. What about that? Now, even if I tell you that I kept my word, You will take it to be a joke. Won't you??

Saturday, 25 July 2009

HOTC Ch 7: The Rains Went By

A new semester, a new hope, a new beginning.. No No! we were right in the middle of the storm like in the beginning of HP7 and we didn't have time to appreciate the change in classroom. We were Potters in search of the horcrux jobs, with Albus Samson helping us out at CGPU. That's when the bubble-that-must-not-be-named burst (literally) into scene. Things never got better after that and even after a year our batch is still bathing in the aftershock. (pardon me for the absurd allegory in previous statements :-) . The fact that our class secured the most number of jobs in the batch was little consolation for what happened.

Looking at the smaller picture, the placement season was an 'experience'. There were the PPTs of companies in the beginning. The real deal didn't bore us as much as the PPTs though. It was a special sight seeing us dressed well, as executives for a change (got to say our ladies looked better those days too.. ;-). Those days provided some unforgettable scenes.. The joy after getting a job, the disappointed figures being consoled by friends. I was able to stay back many of those days 'cuz of the proximity of my house. Saw a lot of gr8 friends groups around CGPU including ours - staying together during the hard times. It had the funny moments too.. Sure going round and round the pillar before an interview and three guys doing the same after he'd gone in, AS claiming 'I love japanese people, I love japanese culture' at Toshiba interview and a lot more..

Then came one day that could be named the Happiest day in HOTC. It was our onam celebration. There wasn't any celebration to tell about the previous year. But this was to be our final onam celebration and the AE batch of '09 rocked it Applied style. Back were the laughter, the energy that had gone dim after S5 tour. After our customary trip around the campus (esp civil for obvious reasons), we were back in our class. Thanks to some organising by LN, we'd plenty of payasam and sweets. Then a session of onappattu accompanied by traditional dances (dappankkuthu). There were many cameras around and none of them were disappointed. We made all kinda permutations and combinations for group photos sessions which lasted well into the evening. There were even absurd ones like Akashagopuram kandu thenjavar.

Robotics was still in our veins and another Shaastra was coming along. This time we secured entry in two competitions (thanks to AS). Sleepless preparation nights (mostly just chatting around) and countless screwings (?) 'n debuggings later, we'd three bots ready. One was shaped futuristic-ally like a bat-mobile though it ended up having stability issues. This time, there were more of us making the trip. But we couldn't roam around the campus as much as previous time 'cuz we'd competitions on two days. The robotics competition was real tuff and we were a tad disappointed by it's organisation. Else might've had a chance at winning a prize. The laser show was stupendous! We did go to the beach and spencer plaza. The time we spend at CCD were enjoyable too.

Towards the end of the sem, we went for another robotics competition at GEC, Trissur as part of their tech fest - Resonance. Our group had become professional by then, each knew his part of the work. We were rewarded with 4000 bucks too though the organisers were reluctant at giving out prizes. We also witnessed the first and last Sargam (inter-sem) which went through without much fanfare. I believe Jisha (in pic) won many dance prizes. Another thing to take notice was that the teachers were in charge of the events, which told a lot about the political scenario.

In academics, lectures became more of a formality even though teachers showed their love by drawing hearts in class. We had our seminar and preliminary presentation(s) of main projects throughout the sem. We'd thought of them with reverence in the previous sems. But as usual, most of the work was done at the last minute, keeping up the CET tradition and most of us got through fine. The university exams came along dragging it's feet. We didn't have proper answers to his questions, but survived somehow thanks to our combined efforts. Thus ended the prefinal semester of CETlife and the fact that it would be ending soon was dawning on us.

-JFx

Coming up: Ch 8 - And Road Goes On

Friday, 24 July 2009

Swept Away!!

The air is feeling denser. Everything around us is faint. It is getting fainter. I realised my eyes are getting filled with tears. I wiped the tears off with my hand. She looked at me. I looked away, I didn't want her to see me crying. I was sitting on the grass with Evol beside me. Its been more than an hour. I felt her hand on my knees. I looked at her. She was standing up. She started to walk towards the lamp post without looking at me. She was wearing a black jacket and blue jeans. It looked as if the constant friction wore out some colour from some parts of the jeans,it was no more blue there. She stood still, I kept looking at her from behind. I am now sitting on her shadow the evening sun cast on the green carpet. May be she is trying to hide me.

Now I am talking on the phone. I walked away to the car and drove away. As the car was leaving the park I could still see Evol leaning on to the lamp post, unmoved. No, I am not that kind of a person who walk away from anybody without even looking. Evol does know where I am going, even though I didn't know.

Evol always knew everything. And how many times did she manage to hold her tears and cuddle me when I am in tears. She has always been there comforting me.

"Eventhough I feel she is mine
and only min
e,she ain't only
Everytime I come near you
and it just gets better
When the first time I saw you,
in the green with elders
I was afraid to say I love you
bcoz you were so busy.
When the elders went away
I felt your magic in my hear
t,
When someday you were
holding my hands
, I realised
It was not the first time
that
you were touching me
I was so busy doing my job that
i didn't know when you

Touched me for the first time or
when you talked to me.
All I knew I was that i was
in love with you
I remember that day when
standing on the green park,
You said this will never end
I thought you were right.
When the tide came,
I took your hand and
Looked at your face
I realised you cant come
with me...au revoir "


Thursday, 2 July 2009

Quotes over the ages

There was a time when I used to study from my notebooks more than any text. All that became a thing of the past when in college. Notebooks became more of a symbol of expression during the lectures (often monotonous). One habit that I caught up was writing down a quote on the first page and omit writing down my name. Due to the fact that I didn't have many notebooks during the four years and cuz I might have lost one or two, I could recover only 4 of them:

S5:
Science is an ongoing process. It never ends. There is no single ultimate truth to be achieved, after which scientists can retire. And because this is so, the world is far more interesting, both for scientists and for millions of people in every nation who, while not professional scientists, are deeply interested in the methods and findings of science.
- Cosmos, Carl Sagan

S5-S6, Still one of my favourite quotes:
It's so easy to run to others. It's hard to stand on one's on record. You can't fake virtue in your own eyes. Your ego is the strictest judge. It's simple to seek substitutes for competence - love, kindness... But there isn't substitute for competence. That precisely is the deadliness of second handers.
- The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand

S6-S7, Very meaningful at that time:
My past life seemed floated away to an immeasurable distance, the present was vague and strange, and for the future I could form no conjecture.
- Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte. ( The irony is that I never completed that book)

S7-S8:
I yearn to define my life
Placing faith in chance to meet me in halfway
Back row to the left, a little to the side,
Slightly out of place
Look beyond the light, where you least expect
There's someone special.
- From the song Someone Special, Poets of the Fall

Saturday, 20 June 2009

K in a nutshell

Didn't get time to jot down anything on the first day of the trip due to busy schedule. But one thing I've got to mention - It was unbearably hot and humid. The climate in TVM is heaven. So to the second day when mom bought half a dozen handbags and a score of sarees.. I'm not exaggerating. I got plenty of time observing and here goes what I wrote down that day:

Morning:
I realise I'm walking through a city which was once the capital of British India. It seems like the city never arose from the shock of losing the status of capital. Here even the newest buildings are made in 19th century style. In the heart of the city it still breathes the Victorian era. Most of the metros have given up on it's traditions, but you can see Kolkata in 19th, 20th and 21st century side by side. Where else would you find street hawkers, a huge 'new' market housing all types of garments in shops having century old tradition and KFC in the same road. Another example would be cycle rickshaws, the only working tram network in India and the modern metro rail ploughing along the same area.

         
        Victoria Memorial                                       View from New Market

Noon:
Now to some interesting news. I found most of the gals in Kolkata are naturally pretty and fashionable. :-) This requires special mention 'cuz the same cannot be said about southern states. And the best thing is they can be found everywhere, not just in top notch shopping malls.

Afternoon:
I would've died of boredom today hadn't it been for the iPod. My ever faithful music companion always helps in finding better perspectives in times like these. Thank you sis.

Evening:
Parents left me at a saree shop with lots of stuff that we bought and went on to buy some more (Saree count around 15 by that time). The shopkeeper was a hospitable man. His son did B.E & M.Tech in Bangalore, married a Kannada girl and is working at GE, Bangalore now. He seemed very happy to know that I'm going to do M.Tech in Bangalore. He bought us free fountain Fantas too - Yippee!

More photos in ma photo blog.

Monday, 15 June 2009

NIT saga part 2

Sorry guys ..really sorry for not posting it till now...... Hope u guys still remember in the first post........

Before starting the next part, i wanna say one thing- wat ever u may read in the following part is purely imaginary and it doesn't have any resemblance to any living or dead persons....and if u still thing it has any resemblance then sorry Sudeep .. am not responsible......

So after battling the CAT for about two and half hours we were finally out of the hall.....The long train journey and the exam had almost drained the last bit of energy from us ,, and the hot and humid climate of the north kerala was making things more worse...... but still the the happy ending that's gonna happen was making me forgot all those hardships that we faced so far....Like they say- "you are not gonna achieve anything without paying the price for it..."

So our next intended stop was NIT ..but before that we have to fulfil some of the basic needs of human beings... The call of hunger was much more important any thing...So after wandering through the streets for a while we finally reached at the much famed-"SAGAR". hotel...I have never ever before tasted the famous-"malabar biriyani",,so tis is finally my chance..Since living along with friends whom belonged to this part of the kerala and hearing their hyped stories about the famous biriyani......I always wanted to have a go for it.....so another small dream is being fulfilling for me....So when the waiter came I didn't have any hesitation in ordering wat I wanted.....Now here also my dear friend came to my rescue..On hearing wat am ordering he reminded me that since I was taking some ayurvedic medicine I am not supposed to have any non -veg items....His response was so quick tat i wondered whether tat was the final question for any million dollar quiz in which the first one to answer was to carry away all the cash prize.....Thanking him for his remainder and cursing the one who invented that ayurveda medicine I asked the waiter for a veg-biriyani.....Looking to me like i hav asked for a cocaine or something like tat he said a sharp NO... So as i struggled with my parotta and kuruma I saw my friend enjoying his biriyani.... hmm dunno whether you guys have tis experience of having your favourite meal in front of you ..but all u could do was to simply watch .....believe me its really awkard ........... Any how I thanked my dear friend for his concern...

SO after the hotel (bitter) experiment ,,we resumed our journey ,, and finally reached the NIT around 3.00...... and the great LH waited us eagerly there.........

to be continued.........(this time the next post wud be much faster)

Thursday, 4 June 2009

You Complete Me

There are some times when you just wanna lie down and let the pain creep in.. with wet eyes and heavy heart you just let the helpless slowly intoxicating. My friend recently accused me of being a vishadakamukan even before falling in love. Maybe I am. There comes few times when something beyond our control takes us away from the ones we love. Due to those I've even considered not loving something/someone so much that you cud never say goodbye. No. This is not a farewell message to any gal. This one's for my dear friend without whom I'm nobody.

It's so easy to cry off your sadness. That was the case when I encountered such a scenario in school. But this is a different kind.. We've been laughing off our sadness. Any hint of nostalgia is washed away in a bursts of jokes which leave us gasping for air. It's more the harder cuz everyday you've got to return home and realize you never said how much you would miss him/her. That has left me spiraling down and down and finally drowning in this pool of tears.

Even through all this, the faith that keep me going is my belief - you never leave your loved ones behind. They are always with you. Right there watching the world through your eyes from that little corner in your heart. The corner that never stops beating.

This one's for none other than you. Each and everyone of you. Like the Joker says, You complete me.

:-) Remember the days we used to think Samson sir is the original Joker.


Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

Now playing: Green Day - 21 Guns
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Fade to Grey

It's always the little things in life that you miss the most. College life has given me some really unforgettable moments/incidents. But there are so many little collection of things that I can't remember with clarity. They happened every other day but everyone of them were special like..
  • the joy of walking to college everyday with music at your ears
  • cutting classes for pretty much no reason
  • laughing until you cry at your friends' cracking joke
  • the whole days spend chatting in pancharakadu
  • the feeling of looking at a person the whole day and knowing you'd be back the next day to do the same
  • the smell of rain drizziling outside when you're warm n' cozy in class
  • having lunch at Lords though every time we end up cursing them
  • all the days when nothing out of ordinary happens
  • the innumerable museum sessions when discussions ranged from intellectual to plain PDs
  • the mini and main project days..
  • my regular presence in bus bay from first year onwards though I've always walked home
  • walking back home on the half tarred - half clay road

Friday, 22 May 2009

Flocking

Firefox is the best browser in web-world for me and I've been a faithful follower since the day I first installed it. I've never looked back at IE or more recently Chrome after that unless the webpage demanded it (some sites are still designed to be supported only in IE!).



Then came one day, last week when I happened to see Flock in action. Though it's built on the Firefox engine, the browser has considerably improved features for social networking. The browser is made for the profile. If you sign in to the same computer into email or social networks everyday, this is the browser you should surely check out.

Some of the features I liked were:
* support for gmail, facebook, digg, twitter, blogging etc
* feeds
* media streaming
* update alerts for all of the above
* integration of these features without making much fuss
* Drag and drop support for pics. I draged and dropped that picture directly into this from browser!

On the other side,
* I lost some valuble browsing space in the top due to additional tab
* tried using small icons option as in firefox, but the buttons turned out to be uncontrollably small
* for auto-login, the passwords came up in saved passwords list (I'd used remember me option in firefox. So I never saved important passwords in browser)
* this has forced me to use master password option

Improvement suggestions:
* make it sleeker both at the top and bottom
* integrate gchat instead of facebook chat
* make seperate password list for auto-sign in into features.

Happy flocking everyone..
Blogged with the Flock Browser

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Finalest University Exam

I could write a whole story about the Kerala University and it's exams. But one thing I give credit to this institution is the survival skill it builds in students. Otherwise how would I be able to cooly write out a blog on the eve of the exam with modules remaining to study.

Over the years I had noticed a considerable rise in my blogging activity around exam time. It hasn't been much different this time. The only difference being though I'd been writing blogs in ma mind, couldn't jot it down here due to acute lack of time. I'm hoping to make up for that by this one just before the first exam.

So what makes KU exams special? Is it the way in which every time the question paper surprises us by including topics we haven't covered. Or is it the unasuming regularity by which important topics get skipped while short question from some nick and corner become an essay. And sometimes it surprises us by presenting such an exam which chalenges us and we're left wondering why it doesn't happen always.

Anyhow, after passing 7 semesters I'm still as 'not' confident as ever while attempting the first exams of getting a pass mark. All depends on several factors and though our knowledge contributes the lion share, it might often turn out that grace of person correcting could be the deciding factor. Thus let me be on my kneels with a white flag and olive branch held out to that person without a face.

----------------
Now playing: Jars of Clay - Fade to Grey
via FoxyTunes

Monday, 27 April 2009

Breathin' on..

A month ago, I'd told myself I'd start thinking about college ending only after Dhwani. The last few hours of Dhwani suddenly left a void in me. As expected, nostalgia caught up with me and I went around in circles, kicking empty plastic bottles in an empty playground at the middle of night.

I haven't been able to blog as much as I would've liked about the last few days in college. So hoping to make up with short blogs.. much like the twittering has caught up with ma classmates.

Had our demo week last week. Sadly couldn't attend the first 3 days. That took a lot out of the fun but completely enjoyed the last two days.. Black, Pandi, School, Gunda and to top it all the Cross day. Awesome! Final years kii..

Finishing off the kutti blog with some usual philosophy:
There's a saying that each individual is an island. I've never believed so. Each of our lives are so intertwined with those around us that even if we sever off some branches, so many remain to hold us together.

Friday, 3 April 2009

Dhwani eve

I must have taken the decision to go home many time this evening... Almost went halfway back once. But something kept me pulling back to college. I couldn't go home feeling so. Feeling uneasy on the eve of the biggest cultural fest in kerala.

The eve of Dhwani brought me memories of the day before LaFest. Though in turmoil, we'd all have some kinda feeling of satisfaction then. That was lacking in my heart now. So I stayed back for some more time. That's when the lighting on Golden Walkway went on. Beautiful would be understatement. Blue lights lay on either side of the steps, from top to bottom. It was a treat to our eyes. Bino and me spend some time photographing it. The kanikonna afront the parking lot is in full bloom. But at night, under the sodium vapour light, they were like golden bangles hanging down from the tree. Wish I had a camera with me...

Still finding no reason to stay back, I decided to return back again. Met Sasi, Rizu and Sakhavu on the way, then Gokul. They were on the way to have dinner at Alif. I joined them. Some of them were returning back to college. I couldn't resist the temptation again. Returning back, we went to see the work at Dhwani stage. Arkees team were still well awake and working on it. Then we spend some time in Union room with whoever were left there. It was finally time to go home. When we returned the college was silent. The lights decorating Walkway were off. But we knew there were still people working in some rooms and near Dhwani stage... all to make tomorrow a better day. I felt happy inside.. this was what I was waiting for.

Thursday, 19 March 2009

Dhwani Update

Just 15 days to go. Dhwani's almost upon us and preparations have gone up another gear. All the events have been finalised and rules decided. Most importantly, dhwani has gone online : www.dhwani09.com. Expect changes and updates in the website soon. Keep yourself tuned in regularly.

On the sposorship side there's good news this week. Star Flow International has agreed to be the main sponsor. Our series exams are done, and I can happily go back to musing about Dhwani. In other college news, the work on Golden Walkway's almost done. Just in case someone (including CETians) is wondering what that is, here is a pic..




The new entrance and walkway looks cool...





Back to Dhwani.. So the natural question is What's new? and we say everything and nothing. You want the euphoria, the crowd and the olam back? It's still there. But what happened to the events? Where's my village of music? It's gone and reinvented itself! The events and rules this time around are more what you can say.. people friendly. It's not a just competion for the cultural brilliant, but a festival for the enthusiasts. So join in the fun!

April 3,4,5,6.. Be There

PS: I've uploaded an HQ .png version of Dhwani logo with transparency at Logo for anyone interested to do the photoshop.

Sunday, 15 March 2009

HOTC Ch 6: Of Nothing Much At All..


S6 was as short a semester as semesters could be. I thought there wouldn't be much to write about it, but I'm wrong. Time doesn't define the longevity of college life. It seems to fly fast as a bullet while living it, but we had in fact been part of many events during that short time.

As always, the previous semester dragged on into half of the next leading to s6 starting late into the second month of 2008. The next Ragam was upon us. But this time we decided to hand the reins over to our junior batch. Taken that Ragam's usually our unofficial tour, this time it was more so with half of our class ending up there. Our group made a breakthrough video titled "The Mask Within". The making so much fun with Maadan (in pic) being tied to the chair, tortured at will and left under the spotlight while we discussed the story. Those were the times when my parents had gone to US to visit my sis. Interesting times being the man of da house :-). Though most results didn't go CET's way this time around, we won first in choreography. Had a jolly good time too.

Back in Trivandrum, it was the season of tech fests. Robotics being our forte, we shelled out another robot from the jigsaw pieces. We had and still have a collection of Aluminium kit which would make any aakri kada proud. The competition hosted by SCT had a problem statement in which the bot had to seek and put off a candle. We cracked it! the only team to do so, and won the prize money. It was our first robotics prize and we duly spend it and choreography prize money on great food from Zam Zam.

Pretty much like Dhwani, there are events in college which are held only once every 4 years. No, I'm not talking about college day. We witnesses our first Electronite that semester. The events were of good standard. Our video was displayed to much criticism ;-). We (Mosqui, Malu and me) performed some songs, though majority of the crowd had left for some reason.

College life went along it's usual way. Looking back at the photos, the scores of hours we spent in pancharakkadu were as enjoyable as these 'events'. In fact many of our fruitful ventures had it's root there. I'm getting nostalgic over here.. The final sem trauma. Back to the rest of story then..

Mini tours come along in unexpected ways. Who would've expected us to take half the day off our Industrial Visit to go to aruvikkara. The dam and area is small, but we'd much fun simply walking around. By the way, the IV was to Keltron something' centre near aruvikkara. After that, the semester was getting tighter each day and mini project turning out to be a monster for many.

The CGPU kicked into action towards the latter half of the semesters. It organised orientation programs in Loyola College. Those programs had varying effect on the nature of the class. It was an enriching experience for all who participated. Personally, my biggest gain was getting to know some people in my batch who I never knew existed.

Placements.. hmm you could write a whole story about it, and the first chapter would be Cosmic Circuits. That story's already told in another post. Tensions were high in the first few days and could be felt in pulse of the class. They calmed down as days went on. Maybe the companies had already seen the recession clouds looming close by...the season didn't go as well as expected. For once, the university exams took backstage and we were deep into getting ourselves placed before the rains came down on CET.-JFx
Coming up: Ch 7 - The Rains Went By

Monday, 9 March 2009

Ask not what Dhwani can do for you

We're are entering the final few weeks of our college life. Time for nostalgia to creep in. Idle time wasted away reminiscing those wonderful days. But wait. It's not yet time to throw up your hands and say it's over. There are still weeks to come and they're gonna be action packed... all thanks to Dhwani.





For, when a million notes blend in cadence , there shall be one.... and only one symphony ---''the symphony on palette '' of Dhwani !





We had our Dhwani '09 Curtain Raiser few days back. To be honest I was a li'l disappointed by the function and the response. Anyway that's past and it has given me (and hopefully many others) inspiration to make this Dhwani the best cultural fest in South India.

This is also an appeal to all those CETians waiting in the shadows thinking it's the Dhwani committee's Dhwani. No! It is CET's Dhwani and as it gets louder each day, we'll need all of you to reach out and scream at the top of your lungs so the Dhwani would be heard afar and colleges around India would come in search for her.

Saturday, 14 February 2009

A poll transformed into a post

A holiday is always good. Event hough my lab exams are starting on 17th, haven't started to feel the heat yet. I woke up late and thought about the various ways to pass time, as I would do on any holiday.

Thought of reading some book but I was too lazy for it. Sitting in front of the computer was a more effortless thing to do. I started to browse the internet but after some time, got bored again. Checked the class blog but there weren't any new posts in it. Thought of posting something idiotic in the blog, as I always do, but felt that laziness won't allow me to type.

Suddenly, I had that idea. Think!!! That would be a nice timepass as I haven't done much of that in my life. And I won't have to move from the chair also. I started to think straight away, assuming it to be the most effortless thing. But I had no idea what to think about. After the confusion for a few minutes, I decided to think about the blog itself, discarding other serious topics which were under consideration ( Like which all movies did I watch last week?, shall I have lunch from outside or from the mess itself? etc.)

What all changes might come to this blog in the future? More posts, more members, different labels.. what else?

Oh.. yea.. A girl might become a member. That would be a significant change indeed, I thought. If one of the nine girls becomes a member, who would it be?
It seemed to be a perplexing question. I couldn't think of anyone's name in particular. I had that idea of creating a poll, in order to know you guys' opinion. My thoughts went on, and at last, it was in this form. Question is there, above. Here are the options, not in any particular order. Now if you relate a particular description with anyone, it's not my fault, it's totally yours.

1) The one who has miserably misunderstood the time at which class starts though no one really minds that. ( In fact, everyone loves that late arrival !! Don't ask why)

2) The one and only one Reliance customer in our class (Most probably in the whole Trivandrum also) ever since I quit Reliance. Also known as 'big B' of our class.

3) The one who used to look ferociously at boys if they came within a five meter distance with her, in the first few months of first year (only).

4) The one who dresses like she is living in a European country.

5) The one who is rated as the better looking girl in our class, by most people (That itself reveals the poor state of our class). What to tell !! Mookkilla rajyathu murimookkan rajavu !!

6) The one whose face expression never changes.

7) The one whose voice was hardly heard anytime.

8) The one who is an idiot or at least behaves like one. Try asking 'It's not a crime being an idiot.. is it?' Reply will be too sweet.

9) The one who seems (read stressing the previous word) too friendly, takes down notes with great care, even uses a pencil for diagrams.


P.S. - 1) Hope I don't offend anybody. There's nothing serious in it.

2) Sorry for posting such a thing on such a special day.

ഹ്റ്ദയത്തിലൊട്ടിക്കുന്ന ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡ്

നീ എനിക്കു മറ്റെന്തിനെക്കാളും, മറ്റാരെക്കാളും വലിയ കൂട്ടുകാരനാണെന്ന് മനോഹരമായി പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു കൊണ്ടു മൊഴിഞ്, അതു മാത്രമാണെന്നും, അതിനെക്കാള്‍ കൂടുതലൊന്നുമല്ലെന്നും ഒരിക്കല്‍ കൂടി ഓര്‍മിപ്പിച്ച്,അവള്‍ നടന്നകന്ന നിമിഷം തൊട്ടേ നെടുകെ പൊട്ടിയ ഹ്റ്ദയവും പൊത്തിപ്പിടിച്ച് മനസ്സിനിള്ളിലെവിടെയോ താന്‍ തന്നെ പണിഞ്ഞ ഇരുട്ടു മുറിക്കുള്ളില്‍ അവന്‍ ഇരിക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു.

അഞ്ചാറാഴ്ചകള്‍ക്ക് ശേഷം അവന്റെ കൂട്ടുകാര്‍ അവനെ പിടിച്ചെഴുന്നേല്പ്പിച്ച് കൈപിടിച്ച് നടത്തിക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങിയ നാളുകളിലൊന്നില്‍ തന്റെ ഹ്റ്ദയത്തില്‍ നിന്നിപ്പോഴും വേദനയുടെ തീരശ്മികള്‍ ഉടലെടുക്കുന്നുണ്ടെന്ന് അവന്‍ പരാതി പരഞപ്പോള്‍ കൂട്ടുകാരിലൊരാള്‍ അവന്റെ ഹ്റ്ദയത്തിന്റെ ഭിത്തിക്കുമേല്‍ ഒരു ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡ് ഒട്ടിച്ചുവച്ചു.

അങ്ങനെ ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡ് നല്‍കിയ ക്റ്ത്രിമ സുരക്ഷാബോദത്തിന്റെ ഉറപ്പുമായി നടക്കാന്‍ തുടങ്ങി അധികനാള്‍ കഴിയും മുന്‍പേ തന്റെ ഹ്റ്ദയ ഭിത്തിക്കുമേല്‍ ഒട്ടിച്ച ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡിന്റെ അരികുകള്‍ ഹ്റ്ദയ ഭിത്തിയില്‍ നിന്നും വേര്‍പ്പെടാന്‍ കടുത്ത പരിശ്രമം നടത്തി വരുന്ന്നത് അവനറിയുന്നത്.

ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡിന്റെ വശങ്ങളില്‍ തന്റേതല്ലാത്ത ഉണങ്ങിയ രക്തക്കറകള്‍ കാണുക കൂടി ചെയ്തതോടെ ഒരു ഞെട്ടലോടെ ആ ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡ് മറ്റൊരുത്തന്റെ പൊട്ടിയ ഹ്റ്ദയത്തിനെ കൂട്ടിച്ചേര്‍ക്കാന്‍ ഒട്ടിച്ച്, അതിന്റെ ലക്ഷ്യം പൂര്‍‌ണമായി നിറവേറ്റപ്പെടും മുന്‍പു പറിചെടുത്താണ്‌ തന്റെ ഹ്റ്ദയത്തിന്മേല്‍ വച്ചുകെട്ടപ്പെട്ടതെന്നവന്‍ മനസ്സിലാക്കി.

ഉറക്കമില്ലാതിരുന്ന ഒരു പാടു രാത്രികള്‍ക്ക് ശേഷം,ആ രാത്റി, പൊട്ടിയ ഹ്റിദയങ്ങള്‍ കൂട്ടി ഒട്ടിക്കുന്ന ബാന്‍‌ഡ് എയിഡിന്‌ ഒടുക്കത്തെ ഡിമാന്‍‌ഡാണെന്ന് മനസ്സിലാക്കിയ ആ രാത്റി, അവന്‍ സുഖമായുറങ്ങി.



കുറിപ്പ്:
1) ഈ കഥ ഇതെഴുതിയ ആളുടെ കിറുക്കന്‍ വിചാരങ്ങള്‍ മാത്രമാണ്‌.
2) ഇതു ഫെബ്രുവരി 14-ന് പോസ്റ്റ് ചെയ്യപ്പെട്ടതു തികച്ചും യാദ്റ്ശ്ചികമാന്ണ്.

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

Confessions 2 (The letter)

Previously..
Confession 2 (Page 1)
Confession 2 (Page 2)
Confession 2 (Page 3)

I walked out of the house. I knew I was leaving my mind behind. It was difficult to make a choice, but he has just made it easier. As I walked on towards the bus stop, I felt the handbag on my shoulder getting heavier. Was it his weeping heart in there or my guilt growing larger? I couldn't resist anymore. I slipped my hand inside and took out the letter. It said..

"You might not remember the last time I saw you. It was during our farewell party. I'd something valuble in my hands that day. Something I should have given you. I hadn't it was not mine to keep - the words in that letter I held. I almost gave it to you, but then you were holding someone else's hand. That piece of paper might have turned to dust on the party floor but the words still remain with me. I realised only yesterday that holding on to that which wasn't mine has led to me being so now. I'm giving it to you now, again.

Dated: Ten Years ago
You might not know me, but I've loved you for four years. It's time to say goodbye. Where you least expect there's always someone special. I've always wished I'd been that someone for you. - JFx

Life often doesn't give you second chances, but I've been given one. I want to add one line to the letter. May I call you back into my life?"

I lifted my eyes off the letter and looked at the handbag that hung by my shoulder as if it was some kind of tabooed artefact. Hesitatingly, I opened it and took out a piece of paper. It was torn at the edges. It seemed crumbled but had been neatly straightened out and folded. I carefully opened that. Yes! the letters matched.. I couldn't stop now, but answered his question with a silent tear. The teardrop blotted the final word - life.

Days later: When was the last time I saw him? Time flies by in life. But there are moments in life you never forget. They are so clear in your mind..as fresh a memory as it happened just moments ago. Ah, there he comes..

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

THE NIT SAGA!! part-1 exam

This is a true story and the characters involved in it are two of my best friends.. Since one of them wont ever write this ( well he is prolific writer) and other dont have the habit of blogging , am taking the right of posting this one.... For the ease of narrating am taking up one of the character...

It was during the seventh semester... This was the sem. which most of us waited eagerly from the very first day when we set our foot in this college..semester of placements as some may say.... Any ways after 3 years of college life ( wit a GPA which was falling to an all time low ) I had dropped the idea of getting placed in campus placements... Anyways thanxs to recession I got a perfect excuse of not getting placed , dunno wat shud be my excuse if ther wasnt any recession....Well as always (or I say thanxs to God's grace ) I wasnt alone, like true friends who stand with us during the time of despair ther were a few freinds wit me who also got screwed up.. One among them was the second character in this story..Lets name him "SNC".. Unlike me he was a person of positive attitude.. dunno whether the obama fever has affected him too, now a days he uses the words lik "hope" ,"change" more than often....Well cause of his constant pressure me too decide to do something rather than waiting for the heaven to drop something in front of me....Well after four years of engg. GATE was a straight no... the next option was CAT.. but i haven't started preparing for the CAT-08, Here also he came to my aid-- "we can write the cat-08 just for practise and we shall prepare for the next one" ..even though I was reluctant at this idea he finally convinced me.. Such a caring nice friend., I must be really lucky to hav sumone lik him with me .....

Like the past 3 years days passed even before i realized they were even there...God must have pushed the fast forward switch a bit too often.. As i was quiet busy in watching movies and all ..I haven't realized the day for CAT exam was fast approaching.. One day as usual i was sitting lazily in front of my system listening to some music., he came to my room and asked -"dude wat abt CAT" .. Well for a few seconds i was totally blank.. It took me a minute or so to remember tat i hav applied for CAT and the Hall ticket were somewhere between those DVD's which decorated my table .. Well again the demon inside me was the one who answered his questions... I put forward all the reason's which I could figure out , to convince him ther was no point in writing the xam- it was waste of money,time etc.......and above all we havnt reserved any tickets , so travelling would be like hell... But he wasnt sumone who wud give up so quickly..and when he saw his good words arent making any changes , he put forth his trump card.. The vast number of gals who wud turn up for t xam.. well it made a slight change in my attitude ,but not significant though...then came his second offer.- he had 4-5 gals in NIT LH who he hav met through orkut and he would like to introduce them to me and can hav a short trip to hostel...He then elaborated about his friends how friendly they were..and we all can go for some outing in the evening.... Now this bait was too large for me to avoid..I have already heard some stories about them, eventhough all of them may not be true there must some truth in it. This idea made me excited .Even if I couldnt make all of them friends I could make a few of them (and may be I can make friends of their friends and get some phone numbers..).. and can have a trip to hostel.....Well it seems to be a nice idea rather than sitting infront of my system for the whole day....Hmmmm he is again proving to be a nice friend..I again thanked God for providing me wit such a nice caring friend... ...


As I expected journey was like hell....The general compartment was jam packed and the fact that it was a weekend made things more difficult.. We could barely sleep during that long journey, but the sweet memories of " NIT LH" freshened me up.. Even during the journey he talked about his gal friends there.. And we had a little discussion how to spend the evening with them........ We reached the station at morning , after some refreshments we went straight to the exam hall...... the exam halls wasn't as we expected , it seems boys were more interested in tackling the CAT .. and even few gals present were buried in some CAT texts.. Any way inside the hall it seems all familiar -- like last 3 years I found myself staring at a question paper which I couldnt understand at all...It took even few minutes for me to decide whether to go for a blind marking or to try out some of them...and finally i decided to try out those questions..Well it didnt took me long to realise tat the name CAT was such an absurd name it shud be rather "PULLI" or something like that.. Anyway the unseen terrains of NIT which we were soon to explored soon, kept me awake......


to be continued..............

P.S : bro am expecting ur reply before publishing the second one.....

Tuesday, 27 January 2009

Use Blackle and save energy..

If Google had a black screen, taking in Account the huge number of page views, according to calculations, 750 mega watts/hour per year would be saved..!!!!!!



In response, Google created a black version of its search engine, called
Blackle, with the exact same functions as the white version, but obviously with lower energy consumption:
Please use www.blackle.com

Somewhere I read that each and every Google search produces 0.8 gms of CO2. The Google authorities claim that it's only 0.2 gms or so. So try to reduce Googling!!

Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Some moments that I can't forget - 2 (Mr. B and Mr. P)

*Story is real, even though it has been slightly exaggerated.

**Sorry for the nasty language in between. Couldn't avoid it.


You could imagine how happy a brother would be when the wedding of his only sister is approaching. So was I during last July, my sister's wedding was to be held on 11th of that month. But all my happiness got pulverized when the internal evaluation of our mini project was fixed on the same day. It was not possible for me to abstain from the function. My sister asked me to bunk the presentation and come straight away. I thought of asking for a special permission to present it later. But I had to meet S B sir for it and his impression of me is too good. He thinks that I am the 'Goonda of MH' or something. So such permission would be so difficult to get from him. Anyways, I decided to try since there was no other option.

When I went there, he was not in his room. P sir was sitting there. Then, I had that idea. He was also in charge of our mini project. So I'll ask him. He obviously didn't have any opinion about me. To have any opinion about the students, he must at least meet them once in a while, right?

I went near, and said, "Good afternoon sir, Em Sudeep from s6 Applied."

He raised his face and looked at me.

"Sir, can you please give me a permission to postpone my mini project viva? My teammates will present it and I can't come on that day. The thing is that...."

He didn't allow me to complete. Before that, he said, "Ok.. I'll conduct it after S8. Will that be ok with you?"

I almost said a thank you and turned back. That was the softness with which he said that.

Damn!! He doesn't want to know even the reason, I thought. I was obviously not in a mood to enjoy the sarcasm in it.

"Sir, My sister's wedding is on the same day. So... "

"Oh... is it so? Such reasons are so simple to create, right? Can you give me any proof for that?"

"Sir, I'll show you the invitation card."

"Ok.. Then show me that"

I didn't have an invitation card with me at that time. So I ran back to the hostel and came back with the card. I thought about the various possibilities for him to deny me the permission, on the way. But what happened was beyond my imagination.

I barged into the room and handed the card over to him. He started to look at it with a grim face. He was examining it so closely as if it was a document regarding national security or something. He looked at the front side of it for some time, and then turned it back. He stared at the back side for a few moments even though nothing was written there. I kept wondering what the hell was he trying to discover.

Suddenly, there arrived a triumphant smile on his face. He looked at me, proudly, as if he had defeated me in some wrestling championship. This time, B sir was also sitting next to him. P sir explained to both of us as if Sherlock Holmes was describing a case which he had proved with his dexterous maneuvers.

"This card looks pretty new. So straight from here, you went to the press and made this fake proof, didn't you?"

I was shocked to know that people, that too college professors would be this much absurd at certain times. He thinks that I could have made such a fake proof from a press within that much time!! If atleast I could think like that, I would definitely have been in a better position in my life.

I recuperated from that quickly, but couldn't easily figure out anything to defend my part.

"Go to hell, you sh*t head" was all what I said in my mind.

"Sir, usually in our place, we keep invitation cards as new. No one invites anybody with an old looking card"

I managed to say that much.

He frowned as if I had defied his great scientific discovery or something. At that moment, B sir came to my rescue. He said that it looked genuine and could be accepted as a reason. Then, P sir also agreed. Wow, what a good man he is, I thought, which was to be corrected later.


"So, what are you gonna bring us after the wedding? Bring us some sarkkara varatti"

Said P sir.

I smiled and nodded. Then, again, B sir interrupted.

"That's something we can have here also. Where is your house?"

"Palakkad, sir"

"So bring us some Palakkad special.. Hmm.. Well... I've heard that Palakkad is well known for Halwa. So bring that"

Now from where did he get all these valuable information?? I've heard about Kozhikkodan Halwa but not Palakkadan. But it was not the right time for an argument. I just wanted to get out of there, as quickly as possible.

So I smiled, and accepted everything, and said "oh.. Sure sir"

Again, he started to give me instructions like bring a piece of size this much, pack it properly and bring it to the staff room for us etc.

I, somehow managed to keep the smile on my face and nodded for all these even though I was saying "F*ck #&%$@ S*ck &&^$ @)**^ @#^& ^*^ ^%$@" in my mind. That's one of my greatest plus points. Seeing me, you will never think that this much is going on inside me.

Finally, it was over and I turned back saying “Thank you”. When I was about to get out of the room, B sir called me back.

"Hey, you.. come back here"

I went back thinking that this must be something really important, most probably regarding when would I have to give my viva. He gestured me to come near and said in a lowered voice as if he was telling me a secret which only he, in this world, knew.

"Do you know what my name is? It's B. So when you bring the Halwa, if I'm not here in my room, give it to someone else and ask them to hand it over to B sir, ok?"

"Definitely, sir"

I came out of the room. My mind reveled because I could go for the function without any worries about mini pro. I pitied B sir for taking it so seriously. But all these turned out to be irrelevant when presentation was postponed for the whole class.

***
I used to have a great bit of respect towards my teachers till I joined this college. I strongly believed that 'Guru' is equal to 'God'. For me, my parents and my teachers are the greatest gods in this world. Even during these days also, when I go home, I meet my teachers or at least call them, and get their blessings.


I do have certain regrets about my college life. I have done certain things which I should not have and I haven't done certain things which I should have. And my greatest regret is that I don't love or respect my teachers in this college the way I used to do till I reached this college. It hurts far more than screwing up my exams and spoiling my future. But such incidents help me a great deal to get rid of that regret..