how long can you remain idle?

flashback or as the mallu movie goes.. rewind.. drastic rewind..

Three weeks ago we were working on something without a body, without a mind, trying to make the future. Our minds and body were bent on making it work. The robots were made. The battle half won. Who cares about the rest half. Anyway that is past and back to future. I keep haing an obsession of jumping from past to future when the thing that matters most is the present. But present is just a moment while the past and future are immeasurable.

So back to past or the recent past to be exact. What's keeping me busy these days? Nothing. So what's the problem? nothing. No i din't mean there's no problem. Nothing is the problem. You laugh at it, you sleep over it, you wake up and look around at and still don't see. You realize that the nothingness or the lack of anything is nothing if you consider the something days in the past when you had everthing and wanted to have nothing. Those something days.. when you always had something or someone in mind, when pen was mightier than 12 hours of sleep, 8 hours of looking blankly at the computer screen and 4 hours of trying to count the hours in a day.

Since when have you been a workaholic? You'd pride yourself in being the lazy kid. But even while being lazy you'd always tried to keep the brain moving. If it doesn't move, you feel congested, feels like..dead. So wake up buddy. Wake up and see the world.

Who am I talking to?
ah.. Hi John, what's been keeping you busy these days?

Blamed for what???

I seriously don’t understand what kind of mental satisfaction a teacher derives from taunting students who look come expecting for help…

Today… me and kesavan.. just for asking permission to use a CRO in any lab for our mini project... lab assistants were free, labs were free.. and hell.. only this Mr X had a problem… he claims we guys r not supposed to be inside the campus once the strike is called for… he says we wait for the teachers to leave the class to carry out our other activities… in particular “flirting”…

“Flirting” ... and that too to me and Kesavan…

This ought to be the worst experience I’ve had from anyone in our dept so far… how can a sir talk like this to someone who approaches him for help? Makes me rethink about being sincere to the department… of course one person shouldn’t turn out to be the reason for disliking the rest.. still.. I was really hurt… never expected any sir to talk in such a manner.. and to add to it all.. a sadistic, lopsided smile on his face at the end of his long babble.. that really got my goat…

Flirting… why on earth does anyone associate that term with us two? Am I wrong, people? And about this topic… I really think there’s nothing anyone can do about it except the subjects involved… they have the freedom to choose what they want, they’re all grown ups and should be able to understand whats right and whats wrong for them… if jus talking with each other can make them feel better, and if it does no harm in any way to themselves nor anyone else, why shouldn’t they? Not that I ‘m an activist for this “mode of communication”; and I personally believe myself to be lacking in any such “quality”; but being put to blame for such trivial activities that can never be associated with everyone is utterly ridiculous… and shame on the one who spoke about this too… if he has such a problem, why not address everyone and preach his principles, instead of picking on unpretentious souls who tread before him by dumb luck…

God… why is there so much of a ‘wavelengths of thought’ difference between “them” and “us”…

Being sincere towards teachers is a pupil’s dharma… that’s what has been taught to me since the time I could remember… and I frankly believe that contributes a great deal to a person’s luck factor… making fun of mannerisms, joking on teachers etc are common.. but again… anything is permissible if the respect for teachers is kept burning within….

I’ve faced really terrible teachers, brilliant ones, just-for-the-sake ones… but somehow I managed to find something to value in each one… hopefully that attitude shouldn’t change…. God… please… not atleast in this lifetime… Certain things make me what I am… whether for good or bad, I cannot judge… even if I can, I refuse to… I realize a lot of things… to prying eyes, I might not look a lot discerned… let it be that way… A few months back, Gemo had told me something like this while I showed him a poem: if I do something and if I don’t get acceptance from others, and if I keep thinking that God’s there to know my actions, I would not be getting that much satisfaction than if they did acknowledge…. Yeah kinda true… but it’s a lot better not to let the world know a lot about your actions… it might really screw things up, even if its meant for the good of others…

why worry… He’s always up there watching you… :-)

KyUn EXAMS Fail hUa..

After every university exam, I'd been fighting back my temptation to write a blog about it. Now I'm writing not 'coz my frustration crossed it's limit, but 'coz I'm finally able to accept that there is no use in fighting a battle that's not ours.

Firstly the maths exams was unexpectedly easy. There ended the 'Happy Days'. The buoyant faces around the campus didn't have a clue what the KU had in store for them in the coming days. I don't wanna relive the experience of the following exams, but those lead to a revelation.

What exactly is the KU trying to do proving all the odds wrong? Why are the questions so unpredictable, which might even be foolishly easy only if we'd studied it. But why didn't we study them? The answer is often simple-they are the most unimportant parts in the whole subject or as it happened in the last exam, we got a whole text wrong.

Little more about the last exam, and I'll continue along the previous line of thought later. Well, the teacher taught us something in a language we couldn't understand. The words written on board were hieroglyphics and to top it all, we were given a excellent book that's extremely hard to decipher. But something about the subject drove us hard into interpreting the whole book (special mention to divertido). Maybe it was the joy of learning, the joy of using our brains properly after a long time. The previous night we even sympathized our teacher with poor communication skills. One minute into the exam changed it all. People referring that exam paper next year would say "It was easy.". They'd never know what went through our mind on seeing questions that didn't even dare to touch the essence of the subject which drained the complete processing power of quad-core brains.

Back to the question of why KU is doing this, I've a possible plausible answer. They playing the lame game that a boy does to impress his girlfriend. Make unpredictable situations and conversations that tries to convince the foolish girlfriend to falsely believe that the boy is naturally great. This artificiality shines through every one of the question papers. That concerted effort to make exam papers that question not the intelligence of each student, but their foolishness. Every question seems to ask the same thing - how foolish of you to leave the simple things and study the hardest parts. KU has been so blinded by the feeling that unpredictable questions bring out the intelligence in someone. They do not realize that it's not unpredictability that checks a students intelligence. A question paper based on the application of what's taught in books, even if the application needs to be derived right then and there, is acceptable by me. I hope that at least in the future the KU realizes that only higher grade application based question papers improve the standard of the university.

noname2.cpp

I dont know what to write
Just wanna write something
So here goes my blog
Series peeping just around the corner
I'm reading not the text
But the romance classic 'Wuthering Heights'
Yeah I know the question-
"Why haven't you finished it yet?"
To which I have no answer.

Life's reached a point
Where you find more questions
Than answers. Questions to which
You try to answer, ending up
Making another question to which
There never maybe an answer.

Rubbished Versatility on a Dull October Evening

Tears and rain-that's the name of song I'm hearing now
James Blunt- the artist of the song
LIC- that's the subject whose assignment I've o complete
James-the teacher who assigned it to us
Digital- record should be completed tomorrow
Shaastra- still lingering on my mind
Wuthering Heights - book I'm reading
Emily Bronte- the author
Firefox-the web browser on which I'm working
JFx- ya that's me writing this blog.