Monday, 28 May 2007
This is so nostalgic.. I cant think about rain without being nostalgic. Reminds me of so many beautiful moments. Let me go on chronologically.. The first thing that come to my mind is this composition we were made to write in the lower classes. The teacher would give us the topic: 'Rainy days' and give us an outline saying how much she hated rain. I, being a romantic would write against it.. floating paper boats in the puddle.. splashing muddy water on my friends.. life could never have been better. Like the elders say, 'those were the days'. I remember there was a rain-water-drain all the way from our junior school building [the building was later demolished to build a new bigger one..heartbreaking, but have to accept changes] to the ground. We used to run alongside and through it, from the beginning to the end. It wasnt a game for the faint hearted.. you had to got through long tunnels, run down steep slopes and jump down huge heights.
The academic year always started on a rainy day. After the long summer vacation, i would be too lazy to wake up, especially cuz it would have rained the previous night. The most memorable moments in the senior classes were playing football in the rain. When i close my eyes i can still feel the raindrops falling on my face as i run across the field. I realise those moments were not at all about winning or losing. They were about the feeling of togetherness, of enjoyment.. i dont know, i lack words to explain them. The final two years in school add other memories too. Waking up early and going to tuition classes. On those rainy days, i'd watch with my heart-skipping-beats, girls running from their cars to the class to avoid getting wet. Getting back to school was the hard part. We usually got completely drenched on the walk back from hotel Anand (where we had breakfast) to...school.
>>Continued from: Before the Past
>>Saw the movie 'Cars' today. Dint expect an animated movie to move me so much. Needless to say, it fuelled my nostalgia so much.
Hey and whoever came up with that name...the AEI Oh you! Nice piece man!!
Strange that vowels and 'vovvals' rhyme...indicative of the factor that how nocturnal all of us are.
Usually I make it a point to make a diary entry everyday to mourn over stuff....over stuff that you can't tell anybody. And it makes me realize how good a friend an inanimate object can be.
So I'll start off with that topic...
This is one...
A Superman figure, just like the all the small GI Joes we had as kids.
Now, it was given to me by a guy from third grade when I was in my third grade. That's a good 11 years ago. Why he gave it to me, I have no idea. So that's been with me for that long and still is in my shelf and I see it everyday. Tell you more about him later...cos I have a girlfriend now and everybody wants to hear about the women.
My Personal Diary...
She is new . She was born in 2007 and was made by the 'Nightingale' company. She was born as a part of my new year resolution and she is the only one that didn't get postponed to next year.
One good thing about her is that she does not have boobs and still manages to keep me attracted to her and I come back to her every night.
I don't have to lie to her.....incorrect, I CANNOT lie to her nor have I to restrain myself in any form. I can't hide my tears from her nor can I fake a laughter to her. I don't have to flirt with her to keep her interested nor I need have sex appeal. She stays close to me unless I let go off her. She wouldn't care if I have a GPA of 6.54 or 8.75. She wouldn't give a damn if earn in six figures or if I drive an Audi or even if I have only 2 inches inside my trousers!!
In short I can't help but be myself with her no matter what choice I make...because she is myself. This is what makes her special and like none other. Every time I look back to some older date in her I see more of myself, have a larger deeper interpretation of myself, have a revelation within myself. She is my ultimate mode of self expression. And I believe in self-expression more than self-discipline. She becomes the log and genuine acceptor of my deepest darkest desires and fantasies, and she understands everyone of it to the exact degree with which I felt it in my mind.
I started to write my diary intending to make it a mind chart....by a mind chart I meant a log of my instantaneous mind. As the months progressed, the more I read of Januaries and Februaries the more it seemed to me as though I was learning to find solace in myself (this poses a very serious social situation wherein you are less and less bothered about other people, because they can hurt you less and less making you largely insensitive because you always find solace in yourself)
In short she turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. There is a major re-definition of the word 'friend' as she turns out to be the definitive that matches none in my so called 'real life'. Slowly I start to give her a form of body that is sexually(yes, in the rawest sense the word can imply) most arousing to me. I borrow eyes that I like most and always upgrade if I find better ones...and by the time it was April she had a body of her own. May is full of conversations, I discover that she loves good conversations as much as I do. She is ready to talk to me all the time and we keep on conversing, keep on conversing. I end up having imaginary(only in your terms) conversations all the time keeping me preoccupied and virtually devoid of the phenomenon called boredom. She is not an inanimate object anymore, but conveniently in mine and her world alone.
What if I could have her for real one day in all her glory? Rather than hoping to find someone like that what if I could make her up for real? In reality, real is only electrical signals interpreted by your brain. What if I could build her all up...wouldn't she be my definitive friend? Wouldn't a life's work be worth a second of existence with that perfect friend? Can I have one moment of joy where I wouldn't even be able to guess the meaning of the word insecurity, no matter how hard I tried?
Saturday, 26 May 2007
"Have you ever thought.. Humans occupy a very very small area in the timeline of evolution. Many other living beings have been around before humans evolved and are still here. Darwin's theory says about survival of the fittest. Is human race the most equipped to survive a catastrophe on earth? I think not... Until we start colonising other planets and discover interstellar travel, we are just too many eggs in the same basket."
'An Inconvinient Truth' is a good place to start from, if any of the readers plan to continue on this line of thought. The documentary says about the effects of global warming, and our role in it. We just might be scripting our own end, an end that would lead to the rise of another living being superior to us (hopefully)... There was a time when Dinosaurs ruled the earth. Nature always has a way of doing it's own balancing act. Every ice age was preceded by some of the warmest years. This just might be humanity's end, and we might be the last surviving generation. There's no use getting anxious about the unknown. So other than doing our bit to save mother earth, all we can do is pray for the best.
Keepin the religious aspects apart, I'm someone who believes in extraterrestrial life. So dont worry if the human race dies out, or even if life is wiped off the earth. There i can see another John playing in the fields of Ciam .
 just that I didnt study anything doesnt mean the day was wasted. But just for exaggerations sake..
 sms-ed: short messages send from one mobile to another. SYN: time-wasting.
 a fictitious planet in the Andromeda galaxy
Hmmm...For the last few days i have been involved in a lot of extra-curricular activity(very unlike me)like watching tv series,reading books,playing etc.I am a very contemplative and analytic by nature,which made me look deep into what the series and the books would mean if they were to be true.So i feel that our future is in a mixed bag of fortunes bound to be opened at the stroke of a great catastrophe (or a revolution), which might just sweep away the present and in turn bring a new dawn we never imagined and most probably will never.
The series "HEROES" and the book "PRELUDE TO FOUNDATION" ,by Issac Asimov, deal with a hypothetical situation which allegedly is going to be the future of mankind.
According to the series the human gene is under a constant process of revival and goes on explaining the plot using Darwin's theories. They say nature has its own way of controlling living beings and technically speaking,the process of natural selection and the concept of survival of the fittest is ultimately going to make our genes alter themselves and express in a different more adaptive way. But there can also be a counter argument that the evolution process has long remained in a quasi state,which eventually has made us make adjustments to our environment to suit our cause(with its own consequences of course).The book rather emphasis and solidifies this argument about we human beings being very manipulative towards our surroundings and in the end resulting in a galactic empire which is extremely mechanized and technologically very sound. The author has predicted the future to be a world full of robots who are going to be the loyal servants.
Friday, 25 May 2007
Today the entrance results came and it so happens that my brother had also taken the exam.For the last few days i believe he might have been something like "living on the edge",anxious and apprehensive as anyone in his situation would be,its his life thats hanging in the balance(that might be a little exaggeration but i take the liberty as its my blog).
The real shock comes when you realize what you get far beyond what you had anticipated(as you might have guessed thats the case with my brother).So when i came to know of his result i made a small script of what he might be thinking in his mind.Thats what inspired me into writing this blog.
I thought his first reaction would be"what a f**king loser i'm,damn.."(as is obvious).
The word loser struck me and i thought "hey, who is the loser anyways??hmmmm".......
So, as is customary among the very intellectual,i thought of a possible definition or definitions.
The first thing i did was wiki the word and i came up with this "
Loser or Losers may refer to:
- Loser (band), an American rock band
- Loser (song), a 1993 song by Beck
- Loser (3 Doors Down song), a 2000 song by 3 Doors Down
- Loser (mountain), a mountain in the Ausseerland, Styria, Austria
- Loser (film), a 2000 movie starring Jason Biggs and Mena Suvari
- Loser (novel), by Jerry Spinelli
- The Losers (comics), two comic book teams published by DC Comics.
This doesn't look good, so next try was the dictionary and it said"blah blah",you find it for yourself.
Dissatisfied and totally feeling a loser,i thought "hey, i can do better ".And so i gave a new definition which is as follows :
(1)A loser is a person who is either finds his activities not satisfactory.
(2)A person who the society thinks cant do anything properly however satisfied he might be with himself.
If you want more refer the dictionary!!!!
Every time i think of any topic i always feel Einstiens words were correct "EVERYTHING IS RELATIVE".As a matter of fact, his theory has not been contradicted yet,I believe.
So is it just the psychology of the society, that we live in, makes someone a loser or is the built of the whole structure called humanity thats forcing us to follow its axioms.
Anyways don't you feel its high time since the whole system has undergone a reshuffle and rearrangement,its not fair to judge someone a loser with just a common test or something..is it?
Everybody is unique in their own ways and none can be written off.
Thursday, 24 May 2007
Work is defined as force into displacement. I didn't as much move from my position in front of this computer other than to get my lunch, snacks and attend calls-both nature's and otherwise...Ah yes. I do remember a time when i climbed the stairs to get handkerchief (havent heard that word used anywhere else in the world other than good ol kerala).
My nose is still bleeding... I hate it when mucus is loose and it keeps oozing out. Hate the sound when i have to blow in through my nose, again and again, until i have collected enough to either spit out or blow the 2 tbs of mucus out on to my hanky. That hanky needs cleaning atleast twice a day, but i have wowed to use it for atleast one week without washing. The day is gonna end on a brighter note with my brain working* at it's day's highest value...now as I'm writing this blog.
* that is a hypothetical situation where my nerve cells move to rearrange themselves. The total work done should be taken as number of working brain cells (which has drastically reduced after 12th standard) into the distance they have travelled, during rearrangement. That amounts to about 1 kg of rice, a banana and lots of biscuits.
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
director(to himself): all my money is running out. ill have to direct another movie.
director(wandering through streets of Hollywood): script vikkanundo script.
passerby: orannam undu
director:vattu ideas undo?
director:indiakkaareyo germankkaareyo russiakkaareyo kaliyakkundo?
director: ill take it fo 1.5 dollars
director(to himself): now i have to find the richest man around for a producer.
director(to rich man): this is my dream movie. it will get minimum 5 oscars and a 100 million in revenue. you should have the honour of producing it.
the richest man turned producer (RMTP):but wont it cost much?
director:50 million dollars
RMTP: Atreye ullo? inna pidicho
director(to himself): now i have to find some actors
director(to agent): thunyillathe abhinayikkan samadamulla 2 nadanmaarum 4 nadimaarum
agent:adutha aazhcha ready aakum.
director(to passerby): aliya onnu help cheyyumo? ee camera onnu pidichu tharaamo?
After 4 weeks:
editor(to director): ithu enthoonu kaanichu vachirikkuvaa. onnum manasilaakunillallo
director: enne aaro vilikkunnu. vaykittu varaam.(leaves)
after half an hour
editor: eethaayaalum njaan vataayi!!! ini kaanunavareeyum koodi vataakki kalayaam.
ethu frontil pookate........
ithu backil varate. .....(goes on for some time)
(Atlast relieved)theernnu(but fate wasn't kind enough)
ayyo ethevidunnu vannu...(seeing a clip that he missed)
athu idakkevideyenkillum kidakkate.
editor(to director):cinema ready.
after a few weeks:
director to interviewer:when i was a child i had an unfortunate accident. i was in hospital for nearly a month. during that time i used to think a lot. i thought about a sufferings the sick people have to face. On that day i swore that ill make a movie about it. I had it in my mind for all these years.
interviewer: sir......eh.....but there is no hospital in the movie......
director: Are you retarded. i am not talking literal, yaar. it is all figurative. there is a patient inside all of us who longs for love and care. the movie brings out that aspect of human psyche.
interviewer:oh.THE greatest movie of the year.
viewer2: cool man!!
viewer1: the story line was superb
viewer2:ya. Passerby is the greatest scriptwriter
viewer1:i want to see all the movies he wrote
viewer2: did u notice the editing?
viewer1:of course. who could miss it? the swing between past and present. is he a human??
viewer2:director and producer was
i am tired. hope you don't want me to continue.
Monday, 21 May 2007
1. schindler's list
2. the english patient
3. little miss sunshine
4. the inconvinient truth
5. the crow
7. as good as it gets
8. groundhog day
9. sum of all fears
11. spiderman 3
13. ta ra rum pum (yuk)
15. shawshank redemtion
16. star wars, episode 3-6
17. the usual suspects
19. american beauty
20. my pretty bride (korean)
21. hotel rwanda
22. forrest gump (again)
23. chronicles of narnia
24. sound of music (again)
25. batman begins
there are many more..will add the rest wen they come 2 mind..