Falling for Formula 1

Michael Schumacher vs Mika Hakkinen, Belgian Grand Prix @Spa-Francorchamps 2000 . One of my earliest memories of Formula 1 and probably one of the moments that got me hooked to Formula 1. I had watched a few races by this point but was by no means an ardent follower . Formula 1 was just one of those things I would watch if there was nothing more interesting going on while I was channel surfing. Of course there were things that intrigued me... the high level of technology - these cars looked nothing like the road cars, the crazy high speeds - they were pushing 300 kph down the straights!... and of course the roar of the V10 engine (although I did not realize it at the time).

It was another tight fight this season with both Ferrari and McLaren producing cars that were title contenders. Michael Schumacher leading the Ferrari charge against the McLaren defending driver's champion, The Flying Finn, Mika Hakkinen. Schumacher was just 2 points behind Hakkinen going into Spa. Hakkinen qualified on pole position but spun in tricky wet conditions to hand the lead to Schumacher. With a handful of laps remaining, Schumacher starts to struggle with his tyres but cannot afford a pit stop to put on new ones with Hakkinen closing in. The stage is set for a chase to the flag. 

Hakkinen is closing in by 2-3 tenths of a second every lap and seemingly faster on the Kemmel straight and stronger on the brakes at the end of the straight. This would be the place to go for the overtake. Lap 39 out of 44, Hakkinen has Schumacher in his sights and closes the gap down the straight, benefitting from the hole Schumacher's car is punching in the air ahead of him and thus able to close up even more than usual. By the braking point, Hakkinen is in a position to dive down the inside and goes for it. Schumacher though pulls out one of his infamous dirty driving tricks and blocks the inside at the very last second, leaving no room for Hakkinen. For Hakkinen, its either drive off the track or back off. He chooses to back off. All this is happening while braking down from 300 kph over a distance of 100 or so metres and then navigating an upcoming turn while the gap between the cars is less than a metre. Crazy. Brilliant but crazy. 

Schumacher is ahead for the moment and tries to break free over the rest of the lap but Hakkinen is having none of it. Hakkinen keeps him in his sights all the way and on the next lap lines him up again. They have Ricardo Zonta, one of the backmarkers ahead of them going into the Kemmel straight. Michael stays on the inside line covering Hakkinen till they arrive right behind Zonta. Schumacher then flicks to the left of Zonta to the outside line leaving Zonta on the inside line hoping to cover Hakkinen that way. Hakkinen instinctively starts tailing Michael but then sees the move and judges there's room enough for 3 cars on the way into the braking zone and throws his car down the inside to the right of Zonta. Zonta has Michael on his left and Hakkinen on his right, he holds his line and eases off the accelerator into the braking zone as the title contenders surge ahead. On the brakes, Hakkinen has the inside line and the lead!!! 

Watch the video below. Added bonus: enjoy the commentary from the bygone era!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fZolMGFDal0&feature=youtu.be# 

Enjoy the glorious roar of the V10s in the video below without commentary.

There's a lot to love about Formula 1 but this is what I fell for. Gladiator-like performances from the drivers taking these absolute brutes of machines to the very edge of what is humanly possible. Perhaps even beyond at times.

 

You Complete Me

There are some times when you just wanna lie down and let the pain creep in.. with wet eyes and heavy heart you just let the helpless slowly intoxicating. My friend recently accused me of being a vishadakamukan even before falling in love. Maybe I am. There comes few times when something beyond our control takes us away from the ones we love. Due to those I've even considered not loving something/someone so much that you cud never say goodbye. No. This is not a farewell message to any gal. This one's for my dear friend without whom I'm nobody.

It's so easy to cry off your sadness. That was the case when I encountered such a scenario in school. But this is a different kind.. We've been laughing off our sadness. Any hint of nostalgia is washed away in a bursts of jokes which leave us gasping for air. It's more the harder cuz everyday you've got to return home and realize you never said how much you would miss him/her. That has left me spiraling down and down and finally drowning in this pool of tears.

Even through all this, the faith that keep me going is my belief - you never leave your loved ones behind. They are always with you. Right there watching the world through your eyes from that little corner in your heart. The corner that never stops beating.

This one's for none other than you. Each and everyone of you. Like the Joker says, You complete me.

:-) Remember the days we used to think Samson sir is the original Joker.


Do you know what's worth fighting for,
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

Now playing: Green Day - 21 Guns
via FoxyTunes

Dhwani eve

I must have taken the decision to go home many time this evening... Almost went halfway back once. But something kept me pulling back to college. I couldn't go home feeling so. Feeling uneasy on the eve of the biggest cultural fest in kerala.

The eve of Dhwani brought me memories of the day before LaFest. Though in turmoil, we'd all have some kinda feeling of satisfaction then. That was lacking in my heart now. So I stayed back for some more time. That's when the lighting on Golden Walkway went on. Beautiful would be understatement. Blue lights lay on either side of the steps, from top to bottom. It was a treat to our eyes. Bino and me spend some time photographing it. The kanikonna afront the parking lot is in full bloom. But at night, under the sodium vapour light, they were like golden bangles hanging down from the tree. Wish I had a camera with me...

Still finding no reason to stay back, I decided to return back again. Met Sasi, Rizu and Sakhavu on the way, then Gokul. They were on the way to have dinner at Alif. I joined them. Some of them were returning back to college. I couldn't resist the temptation again. Returning back, we went to see the work at Dhwani stage. Arkees team were still well awake and working on it. Then we spend some time in Union room with whoever were left there. It was finally time to go home. When we returned the college was silent. The lights decorating Walkway were off. But we knew there were still people working in some rooms and near Dhwani stage... all to make tomorrow a better day. I felt happy inside.. this was what I was waiting for.

Confessions 2 (The letter)

Previously..
Confession 2 (Page 1)
Confession 2 (Page 2)
Confession 2 (Page 3)

I walked out of the house. I knew I was leaving my mind behind. It was difficult to make a choice, but he has just made it easier. As I walked on towards the bus stop, I felt the handbag on my shoulder getting heavier. Was it his weeping heart in there or my guilt growing larger? I couldn't resist anymore. I slipped my hand inside and took out the letter. It said..

"You might not remember the last time I saw you. It was during our farewell party. I'd something valuble in my hands that day. Something I should have given you. I hadn't it was not mine to keep - the words in that letter I held. I almost gave it to you, but then you were holding someone else's hand. That piece of paper might have turned to dust on the party floor but the words still remain with me. I realised only yesterday that holding on to that which wasn't mine has led to me being so now. I'm giving it to you now, again.

Dated: Ten Years ago
You might not know me, but I've loved you for four years. It's time to say goodbye. Where you least expect there's always someone special. I've always wished I'd been that someone for you. - JFx

Life often doesn't give you second chances, but I've been given one. I want to add one line to the letter. May I call you back into my life?"

I lifted my eyes off the letter and looked at the handbag that hung by my shoulder as if it was some kind of tabooed artefact. Hesitatingly, I opened it and took out a piece of paper. It was torn at the edges. It seemed crumbled but had been neatly straightened out and folded. I carefully opened that. Yes! the letters matched.. I couldn't stop now, but answered his question with a silent tear. The teardrop blotted the final word - life.

Days later: When was the last time I saw him? Time flies by in life. But there are moments in life you never forget. They are so clear in your mind..as fresh a memory as it happened just moments ago. Ah, there he comes..

COME TO ME

Wish it were a day with the wink of my eye...
but each day takes its time,smirks at me and passes by.....
its in my tears that i hide my love for you.....
am a leaf and my tears like dew....
oh it feels like u been gone for ages.....
i could go on and fill pages....
im in a trance dat i cant explain....
i feel like im shelley or twain...
oh you are ma cherie.....
only thing i ask of you is, to come to me.....

MY FIRST KISS

Was this the feelin for which i lived,

i now know wat it feels like to be kissed,

oh i dint know till day wat i had missed,

sweet it will taste i had been told,

a feelin u will tell is precious than gold,

i feel like not lettin u go from my hold,

wish we could stay on like this as if we were of one mould..

il go on for pages and folds....

im sure this love is ages old...

Confession 2 (Page 3)

Previously..
Confession 2 (Page 1)
Confession 2 (Page 2)

She sat down on the bed beside me. Her hair slowly floated around in the cool wind of the morning. The warmth of the sun was creeping in throught the windows.

"What's you plan?", she enquired smiling.
"You", I replied.
She laid back on the bed and closed her eyes. They looked calm. The nervousness I saw in it yesterday has completely left. I heard a music ringing in my ears. It was coming from somewhere near. She jumped out of the bed.
"That's my phone.", she replied to my puzzled look.

She went to the next room and got the phone out her handbag. I felt too lazy to get out of bed. Anyway she was coming back to where she sat. I saw deep lines of worry burrowing on her face. Something wasn't right. She tried to put up a brave face as she cut the call.

"There's a problem", she started.
"Eh?"
"The call was from Credence Hospital. My hus is admitted there. He's had a drinking problem. He went there for checkup due to stomach ache yesterday. It seems he has liver cancer."

I broke the silence that ensued "You should be going.", I said
"This is your problem, it has always been.." her words trailed away as I cut in angrily.
"Am I the one with the problem? You are the one who's had a broken marriage. You're the one who lost her son. You are the one who's run away and slept with a-" I stopped suddenly realising I'd gone too far. The silence that followed was the longest in my life.

"I'm going", she said softly. I understood.

As she walked into the adjacent room to redress I looked upon the pen that lay on the table beside my bed. I started doing what I should have done ten years ago. Five minutes later she returned. Her eyes told she'd been crying. I folded the letter I had written and held it out to her. She put it in her carrybag and walked out..

Insipid

Today is Tuesday
say how the day?
boring to the core,
raining more and more.

hows life?
full of stuff;
what kinda stuff?
stuff that make you laugh;

is it worth a laugh?
go ask your staff;
what will my staff say?
"are you gay?"

are you in love?
no I'm not;
torn between freedom and love,
I'm all bigot.

its a narrow lane to my house,
narrower is my mind.
my life ain't even a clause,
freedom where shall i find?

what do you seek?
abandon the meek
move free above the ego
alas! something that ain't easy to forgo!!

to be free from bonds,
bonds that create bounds,
then the vim shalt return,
least ways for a sojourn.

HOTC Ch 5: Step Back to Ponder

I've lost count of how many times I've thought whether it's time I should put this chapter down in HOTC. I've often pondered whether 'some' happenings in S5 was a step back in our college career. But no, they were indeed the times we stepped back to ponder, to be better.

We shifted (college policy) into a new class, but this time around none of us were happy. The class is a wildlife sanctuary - no I'm not talkin about us. During our stay in it, we must've atleast seen 3 generations of Pravukal. Any love for pravu would be over after a year in it. They made nests in the roof ventilators, trained the little ones proffessionally over the ceiling fans and shit (pardon me for offensive language) on our already cramped benches. Nice situation to be in when you're bored by lectures and pondering whether anything's coming your way from the sky. Not much problem afterall, cuz we spent more hours outside than inside. :-D.

Moving onto the other species in the class: We made the most of what we had, sat on benches, jumped over them to move about and concentrated more on..not studies. Maveli arrived early in CET as usual (the real one, not our staff advisor). That years onam celebration didn't have the verve of previous year. Many had gone home and hence participation was less. That didn't dampen the spirits and we had a nice time walking around for onakazhchakal.

As soon as college resumed after onam vacation, planning started for next tour. All of us were really pumped up reminiscing the superb tour we had the year before. But from the beginning the tour was doomed. Two opposing parties came up vouching for the right to conduct the tour. Cold wars came up as both sides refused to let go. Uncertainty continued right up to two days before the tour and finally one side conditionally ceded.

Thus we started off on a tour crisscrossing South India. First to pondicherry, then Bangalore, Mysore, Goa and back to Trivandrum. The atmosphere was kinda subdued on the first night of journey. Pondicherry is a nice place and we had fun at the beach. But the accomodation left much to be debated, especially for gals. That was put up in discussion and discussions about such things during tour is not a good sign. As a group, we had fun throughout the tour. But elsewhere, things didn't improve going onto next place. Efforts were put into force and the tour seemed to be moving for the better. But the final few days proved otherwise. Controversies that would not be forgotten in our college life, that too involving some of my best friends.. I'd better stop at that.

It took a while for the atmosphere to calm down. We didn't have much time 'cuz Shaastra was coming up and this year we were determined to participate in the robotics event. The robo event we took up was Get a Grip. During the first few days of preparation, we understood that we'd hugely underestimated the magnitude of the problem. Finally after reading the problem statement properly, we got off to work on the robo. Aluminium sheets framed our days and dreams during night. Measurements went awry time after time. The whole thing was built and rebuilt and redesigned and rebuilt. I concentrated a huge amount of my time on a circuit which wasn't used ultimately. Few days and sleepless nights later, our robo was still incomplete [did i mention we had stuff and plan to build 2 robos?] - without even proper motors - before departing to IITM.

The Shaastra days still remains some of the most enjoyable days I've had. ur job on the bot wasn't over even after reaching IITM. The final touch took the whole night before the event. I was put in charge of controlling the bot and to my surprise it went smoothly. But tragedy struck in the form of our slightest misjudgement. The blocks we'd to load and unload got stuck onto the foam tape we attached on our gripping mechanism. We took the anticlimax in our stride and enjoyed the next few days to the fullest... Spencer Plaza, Tiffany's, CCD, chatting on hostel roof after 2 am, Ah I can't wait to go for next Shaastra.

We returned back to the boredom of classes and shut down our grey matters for the next few weeks. That year some of us went for IFFK - awesome movies. University exam came unanounced as usual and I don't remember having christmas celebrations. There was nothing much to do in class other than making fancy hairdos and waiting for the KU to postpone exams enough number times so that they get to schedule it right before the biggest hollywood release of the year.

-JFx


Coming up: Ch 6 - Of Nothing Much At All..

HOTC Ch 2: 'Dare' Remo Jayan

That Christmas was the season of dares and crushes. Every other boy had at least a small crush on someone. As the 9 gals in our class wouldn't suffice, there were even crushes in other classes. Though I'm not much informed about the gals' crushes, some of the names have surfaced.

I don't remember who introduced the dare idea, but it must've originated in the LH. Anyway each person had to dare another to perform something in class. That's whe Jayan got a dare from someone (Later revealed as Sreekesh). He was to propose to V, Remo style. His friends added an additional dare to do it in front of Jaseela Ma'am (a guest teacher ;-).

Jayan, who already had a crush on V couldn't resist the offer. He came in the period after lunch. Jaseela Ma'am was standing in front of the class, about to start teaching. Jayan said " I love you, V" and gave her a 'Remo' kiss in front of the whole class with teacher watching.

We hadn't realised then, the importance of that moment in the HOTC. V was shocked and reacted with an outburst. Jayan was both furious and heartbroken. Our group united for a common cause for the first time - to support Jayan (avane thekkan :-). AS, Varun, Hari etc. moved to our side to join in the fun and thus the incident brought our gang together. Jayan on the other hand found a partner in crime by accusing (not completely falsely) me of having a crush on V. In the following months, U and V became close friends and what we call a 'pair'.

To summarise other relationships, Jisha broke with Jaleel and became friends with Gokul. Nothing came out of Gokul's crush on Remya. LnT-Gemo melodrama continued in the background with most of the class (excluding me and some others) unaware.

The college sprang alive with events like genesis, techfest (Dyuthi), our first class tour, Ragam '06 and the election. Those were the times when we played dumbcharades and cricket in class. Cricket ended in Principal's room below us and the dumbcharades made Suraj Baachi. The election revealed for the first time a rift in our class. Two sections in our class were in cold war with each other due to political and other reasons. Thankfully not enough reasons surfaced for a physical fight in our class, but the college was thrown into turmoil. Thus ended S1S2 with university exams approaching.

Coming up: Ch3 - A Cultural Awakening

My horrorscope??

got a link to a horsoscope site via zapak...
c what it says about my star sign! loL!


wow...after reading all the sections... my God... so much of it is true... i'm quite bewildered... havent read anything of this online that i could relate so much with... do read it guys... what do u think about this? here's the link... check out ur star signs too....
http://www.ganeshaspeaks.com/horoscopes/cancer.jsp

Cancer Career & Profession: Cancer is the Money Sign. Cancerians can pursue the following professions - Actor, Hotelier, Caterer, Astrologer, Teacher, Banker, Nurse, Surgeon, Businessman and Chefs.

Cancer Romance & Marriage: Cancer is a good lover if not a bold one. You tend to settle down very quickly and naturally after marriage. Your protective instinct can make the other person feel loved and cared for. Your sudden change of moods and hesitations could come in the way of a happy relationship. Bluntly put, see that your mother does not ruin your marriage.

Positive Qualities:

Tenacious, Psychic, Highly Imaginative, Loyal, Patriotic, Sympathetic, Persuasive, Flamboyant, Dramatic.

Negative Qualities:

Moody, Pessimistic, Born Nagger, Suspicious.

Cancer Physical Structure: Cancer has a big head. The face is round or semi-round showing intense emotion. The eyebrows are well-defined but not the typical Cancer nose. The mouth is big and the arms and legs are long in comparison to the rest of the body. The stomach shows.

Cancer Health: Cancer has stomach and the chest as its positive health zones. Overweight is a typical Cancerian problem. (he has to see me... :-) )

Cancer Beautyscope: Cancer people need to be very careful cause their stomach has a tendency to protrude. Hence they should exercise a lot.

Cancer Food: Favored food for Cancerians would be all fruits and vegetables with a very high water content such as cucumbers, pumpkins, cabbage, turnip, lettuce, mushrooms etc. Drink plenty of water. Avoid Pastries and Cakes. A fish diet is recommended. (i really hate fish)

Cancer Habits: Cancerians have a tendency to get into the groove, hence you are a slave of habits. (really??)

Born between July 2 and July 11 If the person is born between these days, the planetary ruler is Mars. Mars stands for force, vigor, energy, power and vitality. Hence the stronger qualities of Cancer would be exhibited. Avoid the dictatorial stance.

The fourth sign in the Rashichakra, Karka ( Cancer ) love their home - their roots. Falling in the fourth house of the Kaalpurusha (Ursha Major), which denotes mother, Karka ( Cancer ) plays the same role. Farther the governing planet of the Rashi is Chandra (Moon), which rules over themind and denotes mother. This too enhances its role as mother The most empathetic zodiac sign, Karkas ( Cancer ) are often overly sensitive. They take great pleasure in the comforts of home and family and are at their best when all is peaceful at this front. They nurture a maternal instinct, are domestic and love to nurture others. They adore large families, always providing for others, protecting and making a nest wherever they go. Karkas ( Cancer ) are traditional and prize family history and love communal activities. They also tend to be patriotic, waving the flag, whenever possible. Karkas ( Cancer ) are more concerned with expressing emotions than on superficial conversations. They can appear to be moody, shy and too much like a baby. But on the contrary they are not shy, but protecting themselves against emotional exposure. Though very artistic and creative, often they get on the nerves for holding on to everything including wealth and even to every word that was ever said to them. Their mood swings are unpredictable -- sweet to cranky. The proverbial crab, they retreat into their shells, when hurt. Extremely introvert and certainly not the easiest person to understand these crabs can hide emotions well beneath the tough exterior. Although kind and affable till the mood is stable, it is bitter and melancholic at the next, often feeling hurt unnecessarily. Trying to draw sympathy, Crabs can be fairly insensitive towards others, snapping, being rude and short-tempered. However, the seemingly rude behavior is only a clever means to hide their own insecurities and complexes -- almost like timid, hurt children. Karkas ( Cancer ) can be admirably kind, generous, understanding, charitable and gracious, if all is well with them. Karkas ( Cancer ) can be seen standing by people in their time of need. Their good intuitive powers mostly put to good use in managing their own lives. (is this true guys?) Urges to travel to distant lands come but quelled since home is where you love to dwell. Most often crabs hurt the ones most who have been good for them.(i really cant help this fact). They also tend to make a mountain out of the molehill and are prone to self-pity. Slightly untidy, this doesn't endear you to more stable signs. Unlike Dhanu, who have a place for everything, the Karkas ( Cancer ) idea is to put it somewhere, under the bed, in cupboards, anywhere -- not that you are not untidy -- you are the original hoarder. Karkas ( Cancer ) don't ask for much either, a comfortable home and sense of peace is what is most important. Crabs are also quick to help others and tend to avoid confrontation. In keeping with their nurturing bent, those born under this Sign enjoy their food. A hearty picnic in the park is heaven on earth to most crabs. Karkas ( Cancer ) have a keen intellect and are good with their hands. They do well as painters, sculptors sales persons. However you are best when it comes to taking writing as a full-time profession. Most crabs will have reasonably good careers(i'm still not sure), although there will be a tendency to change to an entirely different field midway, say somewhat nearing 35 years(what the heck.. this ought to be true!!!!) . Money and material wealth are fairly important to and although nearly miserly with the money you earn, sudden windfalls and gains are often squandered away thoughtlessly. Crabs romance those who are quite opposite to them in nature(never tried it...). They are strongly attracted to people who are confident, strong and successful. Although they fall in love all the time, their introvert nature and uneasiness in disclosing their true feelings makes many of these affairs one-sided. (eh... no comments...) they are not likely to rush headlong into marriage, because in selecting a life partner, they are often governed by your their. Karkas ( Cancer ), Vrischika ( Scorpio ) and Meen ( Pisces ) will make good partners for Karkas ( Cancer ). (cancer,s corpio, pisces ... hmm... very few choices....anyone out there? ;-) duh... just joking....) why did they forget my lucky number?? :-)

Ode to Her

When you love someone, you don't care for anything else in the world. She's my first and only true love - Music. As I say goodbye to one phase of music in my life, thought I should write something to express how much she means to me.

I've never been a believer in love at first sight. This wasn't one either. I remember the first songs I heard were on our car stereo. The good old fiat had a sound system not worthy of much praise, but music is not about huge speakers. Whatever we hear is through the same ear. beauty is in the eye of the beholder, music is in the ears of the listener. I can't say for certain what changed me into a music fanatic, but my first recognition as a singer in 3rd standard sure helped. I thank my parents forcing me to sing at our school youth festival.. the first of many opportunities I had to entertain the audience. My first English song: Michael Jackson - Heal the World.

Fast forwarding a few years, I was lucky enough to make a niche for myself as someone who can sing western songs pretty well. Groups song at ICSE youth festivals are still some of the wackiest moments of my life. Imagine singing 'In the End' at an inter-school youth festival, with a guitarist who doesn't know to play a string, but still has the passion to play it in front of an overawed audience. LaFest is another occasion not to forget. Surennan and me singing 'Pineapple penne' which still has a cult following. Through these years the most significant fact was that I got to hear more songs - better or worse - I heard all kinds of songs I could get my hand on.

Entering college, I never dreamed there would be any future for expressing my love for music. Getting second in Genesis was a beginning, but the real opportunity came at our Sophomore's day - Miraglo. Don't know what inspired me to form a band, but everything fell together and I'd my first performance as part of a band. The attempt was much appreciated, I guess. That lead to performances for Illuminati, Dhwani, Ragam, College Day etc. I loved each and everyone of the moments I spent on stage. Looking back I'm really proud of the list of songs we performed:

In order of performance,
Greenday - Boulevard of broken dreams
Bryan Adams - Summer of 69
The Rasmus - In the shadows
Thousand Foot Krutch - Rawkfist (backup vocals)
Eagles - Hotel California
S C Chapman - Dive
Deep Purple - Smoke on the water (backup vocals)
Deep Purple - Highway Star
Metallica - Unforgiven II (backup vocals)
Aerosmith - Dream On
Nirvana - Breed (backup vocals)

The ones given in bold are my favorites. I'm listening to Change by Tracy Chapman now. Beautiful tune and lyrics. Thank you God for giving humans the power to enjoy music. Let her soothe us all in sadness, inspire us to be better, entertain us in good times and lead us through... change.

FORSAKEN SOUL IV

Chapter 4

Confession

Hell! If I don’t do this now I may never do it…

So.. we stopped at the part where I got dumped by the girl I loved and I found some reasons where I silently justified ma failure.. aaah,whatever….

It was 14^th Feb, 2007 the valentines day… Those were times when the robotics spirits were on a high,everyone were on their toes trying to make things happen.. trying to do something different…trying to be unique.. That day we chose ma house for doing our business.. Its funny how heaven scripts life.

I was wearing a red t-shirt an expression of my commitment towards ma love.Well, may be not love but a fantasy which I liked to call love. As we were heading for ma house there she comes wearing a red top. Hell, there ma wild fantasies took a devastating turn,

The devil inside me yelled,”Go get her boy, this is your chance, see she’s wearing the red colour, make her yours”. What shit, I couldn’t hear what ma other side had to say.. Heeding to yell I suggested to my friends,”walk along guys,I’ve got an appointment”

But one Mr.”A” decided to tag along for my adventure and I thought what harm could he possibly be and more over he can be a moral support in my endeavor.

The rest of the company walked along and decided to regroup in front of my house…

Here comes the story,

She was heading for a nearby shop to get some household thingy. She was not alone, a girl who looked like her friend was alongside her. This discouraged me a little, but I wouldn’t let that come in the way of ma “destiny”. I followed her to the shop accompanied by A.I couldn’t find enough courage to talk to her then and there…

As she left the shop we resumed our pursuit and as she was about reach her house I called out ,”XYZ,wait”

She turned around, her eyes filled with surprise.

It would be better if I do this in my mother tongue.

“Eh.. kurae nalayi parayanam ennu karutunnu”

“Enikku kuttiye ishtamanu, kuttikko???”

She was standing still, stunned as though hit by an 11 KV line. She looked confused and even more tensed.

Was that tear drops? I didn’t have time to look; I had set on a sprint, perhaps the sprint of ma life. Mr.A who had been standing there watching the drama unfold had least expected such a situation. Stuck in an unknown place, in front of a weeping lady, a victim of attempted act of bravery by his dear friend he stood there thunderstruck. But his survival instincts didn’t let him down, he went straight ahead and asked her,

”Eh… Pengale, Avan engotta poyennariyumo??”

Suddenly realizing how bad an idea it was, he too set off on a sprint following my lead. Some how he got to me scrambling out of the catch 22 situation just on time.

Phew! Me and A got back home and the news of my proposal spread out like a wild fire.

Huh! Sounds like a well-scripted movie, doesn’t it?? Love, action, drama..

Well, this is the version of the story known to all, but I must confess the real story is a little different.

It’s the same until the start of the pursuit, but from then own the script changes… It’s true we followed her but I never had the courage to talk to her let alone proposing my love. She actually walked along and got into her house. I and A thought why not tell you all a different story, just for the fun sake of it. But the plan got out of hand firstly because I didn’t feel like correcting you people, I relished the thought of being recognized as a brave guy. F**k!

The thought of making a fool out of everyone has been eating me for a while now. I thoroughly regret the shameless act of cowardice. I’m sorry you guys… I really am...

Well,after all, the title "SUPER KNAE" does suit me,sigh!

:((

I think this has gotta be the end of the series.. I had started the series because i had nothing better to write when i started blogging.... I've lost the creative vigor and the will to continue with the series, so i guess it would be better i stop what i started... hmmm... I hereby bid adieu to the forsaken soul..

Previous chapters

Confession 2 (Page 2)

Yesterday was the best day of my life. Ten years I'd been wandering aimlessly, without fame, shame or anything that would make me more than excited to say "Oh that". Suddenly I felt like I've a purpose to live the moment I saw her. She poured out her heart over the butterscotch milkshake we ordered. It was the warmth of her heart that melt the ice cubes. She began:

"I don't know where to begin. So much has happened after you left me"

Questions swarmed my mind. Why does she even remember me, let alone believe I've left her! But I let her continue.

"You remember the boyfriend I had when we left college? Both of us got placement in the same company and it was time to start a new life. We decided to get married right after college. It was after I got pregnant that our relationship took a turn for the worse. Fights became a common entity. Though we had fought before marriage, I'd never felt so disconnected to him. Something was missing in our relationship - my unwillingness to belong to him.

Right after my son was born, I got the divorce notice. I was fighting a losing battle from then on. I... I lost my.." her voice trailed off. Her tired eyes had lost the spark I saw fourteen years before. They were slowly filling with tears. The blue eyes looked like a deep ocean about to overflow.

I reached out my hand to hold hers. This was my first time I touched her. Her hands felt small in mine. In between silent sobs, she managed to say "I've a confession. I've always loved you."
I was completely shaken. "Why... why didn't you ever tell me?"
She turned her head aside and said "Why didn't you?"
I'd no answer.

She turned her head back towards me. This time I saw the spark had returned to her eyes. She told me how she'd liked me from the moment she saw me.. how she noticed me looking at her in the corridors.. how my presence had been the silent comfort during sad times and encouragement during the good ones. It was like traveling back in time. Living every moment again, moment's that we'd lost. I gathered some courage and invited her home. She agreed...

It's today. The bed seems to have been slept on by more than one. But no one's around. Funny I can't remember anything of what happened after she agreed to come to my home. Was it just a dream? Na. There she comes wearing my shirt. She says with a wicked smile "Oh you're back to blogging again?"

'Dajyu' by Shekhar Joshi

I’m 11 years old and I’m about to enter seventh grade. Thanks to our school’s policy to not teach the regular NCERT English readers that contain rather boring lessons but to teach the text books issued by the Oxford University Press, we have very cute, small and interesting reads as our English texts. The contributing authors included big names like Hemingway, Doyle, Satyajit Ray, R.K. Narayan, Oscar Wilde and much to my delight; Isaac Asimov and Roald Dahl. Short stories by Asimov and ‘Charlie and the Chocolate factory’ by Dahl continue to be my favourites. However the story that impressed me most was one by an unknown Indian author, Shekhar Joshi. I rarely had emotional overflows reading a story…stories amazed me, puzzled me, made me think, made me sympathize but rarely gave me tears. And the ones that gave me those, remained etched in my memory. One by which I was deeply moved was ‘Charlie and the Chocolate factory’ about which I shall write someday later. The other one was from my very own English text of seventh grade, the one by Shekhar Joshi. I still have the text with me and it has travelled with me across the state and I must’ve read the story more than fifty times. I post it here and hope that some of you will share the same emotions that I had when I read the story as a kid of 11.

Big Brother

SHEKHAR JOSHI

Jagdish Babu saw him for the first time, at the small café with the large signboard, in the market place. He had a fair complexion, sparkling eyes, golden brown hair, and an unusual smooth liveliness in his movements-like a drop water sliding along the leaf of a lotus. From the alertness in his eyes, one would guess his age at only nine or ten, and that’s what it was.

When Jagsish Babu, puffing on a half-lit cigarette, entered the café, the boy was removing some plates from a table. By the time Jagdish Babu had seated himself at a corner table, the boy was already standing in front of him. He looked as though he’d been waiting for hours for him-for a person to sit in that seat.

The boy said nothing. He did bow slightly, to show respect, and then just smiled. Receiving the order for a cup of tea, he smiled again, went off, and then returned with the tea in the twinkling of an eye.

Jagdish Babu had come from a distant region and was alone. In the hustle and bustle of the market place, in the clamour of the café, everything seemed unrelated to himself. Maybe after living here for a while and growing used to it, he’d start feeling some intimacy in the surroundings. But today the place seemed alien. Then he began remembering nostalgically the people of his village region, the region, the school and the college boys there, the café in the nearby town.

‘Tea, Sha’b!’

Jagdish Babu flicked the ash from the cigarette. In the boy’s pronunciation of ‘Sahab’, he seemed something which he had been missing. He started to follow up the speculation-‘What’s your name?’

‘Madan.’

‘Very well, Madan! Where are you from?’

‘I’m from the hills, Babuji.’

‘There are hundreds of hill places-Abu, Darjeeling, Mussorie, Simla, Almora. Which hills is your village in?’

‘Almora, Sha’b,’ he said with a smile, ‘Almora.’

‘Which village in Almora?’ he persisted.

The boy hesitated. Perhaps embarrassed by the strange name of the village, he answered evasively- ‘Oh it’s far away, Sha’b. It must be fifteen or twenty miles from Almora.’

‘But it still must have a name,’ Jagdish Babu insisted.

‘Dotyalgaon’, he answered shyly.

The expression of loneliness vanished from Jagdish Babu’s face. When he smiled and told Madan he was from a neighbouring village, the boy almost dropped his tray with delight. He stood there, speechless and dazed, as though trying to recall his past.

The past-village …. high mountains … a stream … mother …. Father ….. older sister ….. younger sister …. big brother.

Whose shadow was it that Madan saw in the form of Jagdish Babu? Mother? - No. Father? - No. Elder or younger sister? - No. Big brother? - Yes, Dajyu!

Within a few days, the gap of unfamiliarity between Madan and Jagdish Babu had disappeared. As soon as the gentleman sat down, Madan would call out-‘Greetings, Dajyu!’ ‘Dajyu, it’s very cold today.’ ‘Dajyu, will it snow here too?’ ‘Dajyu, you didn’t eat much yesterday.’

Then from some direction would come a cry of ‘Boy!’ Madan would be there even before the echo of the call could be heard.

‘Anything for you, Dajyu?’ he would call out repeating the word ‘Dajyu’ with eagerness and affection of a mother embracing her son after a long separation.

After some time, Jagdish Babu’s loneliness disappeared. Now, not only the market-place and the café, but the city itself seemed like home to him.

‘Madan! Come here.’

‘Coming, Dajyu!’

This repetition of the word ‘Dajyu’ aroused the burgeois temperament in Jagdish Babu. The thin thread of intimacy could not stand the strong pull of ego.

‘Shall I bring tea, Dajyu?’

‘No tea. But what’s this “Dajyu, Dajyu” you keep shouting all the time? Have you no respect for a person’s prestige?’

Jagdish Babu flushed with anger, had no control over his words. Nor did he stop to wonder whether Madan could know the meaning of the word ‘prestige’. But Madan, even with no explanation, had understood everything. Could one who had braved an understanding of the world at such a tender age fail to understand one, unimportant word?

Having made the excuse of a head ache to the manager, Madan sat in a small room head between his knees, and sobbed. In his situation far from home, his display of intimacy towards Jagdish Babu had been perfectly natural. But now, for the first time in a foreign place, he felt as though someone had pulled him from the lap of his mother, from the arms of his father, and from the protection of his sister.

Madan returned to his work as before.

The next day, heading for the café, Jagdish Babu suddenly met a childhood friend, Hemant. Reaching the café, Jagdish Babu beckoned to Madan. But he sensed that the boy was trying to remain at a distance. On the second call, Madan finally came over.

Today that smile was not on his face, nor did he say, ‘What can I bring, Dajyu?’

Jagdish Babu himself had to speak up- ‘Two teas, two omlettes.’

Even then instead of replying, ‘Right away, Dajyu’, he said, ‘Right away, Sha’b’, and then left as though the man were a stranger.

‘Perhaps a hill boy?’ Hemant speculated.

‘Yes,’ muttered Jagdish Babu and changed the subject.

Madan had brought the tea.

‘What’s your name?’ Hemant asked, trying to be friendly. For a few moments silence engulfed the table. Jagdish Babu’s lowered eyes were centered on the cup of tea.

Memories swam before Madan’s eyes-Jagdish Babu asking him his name like this one day … then, ‘Dajyu, you didn’t eat much yesterday’ … and one day, ‘You pay no attention to anyone’s prestige …’

Jagdish Babu raised his eyes and saw that Madan seemed about to erupt like a volcano.

‘What’s your name?’ Hemant repeated.

‘Sha’b they call me “boy”, he said quickly and walked away.

‘A real idiot,’ Hemant remarked, taking a sip of tea. ‘He can’t even remember his own name’.

Who am I?

No posts still, this year? This is a story I wrote long ago. I'd published it in my personal blog, but most of you might not have read it. My apologies to all who've seen it before. Here it goes:



[With great powers come great responsibility. This is my gift, my curse. Who am I?
-Spiderman, The Movie]

"Being a celebrity is not easy. It is even more harder when you yourself have achieved so much in life." This was the thought that crossed my mind while walking on the beautiful Marina Beach with my friend Emma. I could still recall the events of previous night's Christmas party...

Enjoying a warm kiss from your lover is an experience not to be forgotten. Her lips closer and closer to mine. I can still feel the taste of her lipstick. I'd just started out with Emma...when those damn reporters. They burst out of nowhere, ruining my entire day (night to be exact). Seems like they r born for paparazzi, following me everywhere, waiting to take a snap when i least expect them. The questions they ask...How long have you been dating?...Did you get together during the shoot of "Yeh Jawani"...Are you going to marry?...goes on and on...and they've got their No.1 article for Page 3.

Just when the rapid fire round ended, came the flurry of fans. The fans are good only for one thing, to watch and promote my movies. Otherwise they are hell of a trouble. The rest of the evening was thus spent in writing out autographs for my fans...couldn't reject them because i knew the paparazzi was still around and i din want to have two Page 3 articles in the same weekend.

Back to Emma and the Marina Beach, the problem was still haunting me. Heads turned around from all sides to look at us. Why don't these people leave us alone for a while? Even the beggars in the street had their say in my problems. One child, in torn clothes, and holding an aluminium jar approached us. The jar had few coins in them and he made a weird noise by shaking the jar. I refused to give him money and tried to shoo him away. But instead he turned to Emma and started begging again. I made signs with my hand telling her not to give anything. Suddenly the kid snatched her bag and ran as fast as he could away from the beach. I told Emma to stay right there and started chasing him. That was the last time I saw her...alive.

He was really fast for me. He also had the added advantage of the beach being his territory. He ran into the fishing colony, making me chase him around thatched houses and fishing boats. Then I started hearing the first hints of trouble. I looked behind me. At first i thought it was some kind of a cloud. But it came closer every second, growing larger and larger in size. Devastating was it's effect-the killer wave left nothing behind...she took my love with her. I cried out to return her to me...No she wouldn't. It was entirely my mistake...I should have shed my pride. Seconds later the wave engulfed me. I tried clinging on to a coconut tree that stood nearby...no use. The tree came off the ground. I still didn't give up. Little did i know then that it would save my life. We traveled together for half a kilometer and then the wave stopped. I thanked God for the first time in several years for sparing my life. Then I blacked out...

Days later i regained consciousness for a while. The doctor asked "Who are you?". For the first time in life, I'd been made mute. I turned my head around and saw that the boy who robbed Emma was lying in the bed near mine. I remembered flashes of him clinging on to the same coconut tree. I replied "I'm his father". The doctor cleared his throat and said, "Your son died few moments ago". I wept.

Wuthering Heights, an amateur review by a confused reader

The story began in a busy shop. He was amongst others engrossed in the abundance of beauty around them. But he had eyes only for one thing - Romance.

Days later he asked himself, "Who should I pick from these beauties I met at the shop". He knew this would be a 'landmark' in his life but like so many other times he let his heart decide it on the toss of a coin. The final verdict is out on his choice now...




The real story stages on the backdrop English countryside. I've noticed that most of the modern day classics are similar in that aspect. Like any romantic novel, it began with the history of our main characters. A gal falls in love with guy, but is forced to marry another. Guy knows about it too late and flees the place in disappointment. Later the guy returns. This guy and the one to whom the gal is married enters a cold war. Physical fight results soon which saddens the heroine. She dies due to illness caused by her mental state on seeing her lover and husband fight. The end?

Nahin picture abhi baaki hai..

What happens after this is, for me, the confusing part and the part that made it special. You've to read the book to find out. The book opened my eyes to new avenues and side alleys of relationships that I didn't expect to exist. It taught me how far broken relationships can change you. If you start off expecting a calm romantic novel in Wuthering Heights, you might end up disappointed. The book is more than that, it's about strained relationships, hatred, self destruction and intense love.

P.S.- Still debating where to put this book in the Top Ten.

Wuthering Heights is Emily Brontë's only novel. It was first published in 1847 under the pseudonym Ellis Bell, and a posthumous second edition was edited by her sister Charlotte. The name of the novel comes from the Yorkshire manor on the moors on which the story centres. (As an adjective, wuthering is a Yorkshire word referring to turbulent weather.) - wiki (Read more)

Confession

It all started when I was sixteen. My family was visiting one of my mother’s friends. It was the first time I saw her. And oh! She was beautiful.

My father was talking. Her father was talking. The mothers were in the kitchen. She sat there opposite to me. She was happily listening to the fathers talking. I didn’t understand why she wasn’t in the kitchen with the ladies. I didn’t understand why she was sitting opposite to me, but then, it was just the beginning of things I didn’t understand.

I knew that her name was Soumya. That she had just joined for electronics in CET. Don’t misunderstand me. It wasn’t love at first sight, or anything like that. There she was, all perfect…..beautiful, smart, intelligent…. Who was I to love her? It was just appreciation then.

Days after the visit, no matter what I did, the only thing I could see was her face. Everywhere! The only one I could think about was her. And yes, those days presented me with the most beautiful dreams of my life.

I needed to see her again. But there was no mention of another visit. Gradually, I felt that it was all up to me. That sparked off two years of hard work. I needed to get into CET. I worked and I worked. There was broken friendships and suffering. But all I could see was an angel, standing at a distance, her halo the only glimmer of light that guided me.

There was no one to whom I could confess. It was too precious a secret….. My secret…

Then there was two years of bliss I got into CET.

I didn’t see her for the first three months. I didn’t have to go looking for her. I just needed to know…. To know that she was there, near me.

I came to know that she was quite famous among the guys. The first time I saw her I wasn’t alone. I was with my friends. I just needed a glance. To see she was beautiful. To see everything was as it should be. Perfect. And I played along with my friends.

Everything went on fine. Until…..

She was about to complete her course and it was time for me to let go . Only a few days left! It was the last series exams of the semester. I just wrote each exam for an hour. Marks weren’t a priority. I knew she would leave early. I waited. I saw her. It was the first time seeing her hadn’t brought a smile to my face.

And she left…..

I don’t know what more is left. It is all over and I am tired. My mask sustains me, but I am withered inside.

She didn’t know me. To her I am just one of her admirers. And it will stay that way.

I have told my friends that I have had three crushes. I didn’t name the last one. But it was not a crush… not even love….. but something ….. something I don’t understand.

Archived Observations

Here are some of the observations I made while passing through the alleys of life. At that time, they seemed important enough to be archived in my mob. Dunno if they are valid now or even if I agree to all of 'em now.

1. Friendship, love.. stick together if they complement each other, not if they are similar to each other or if they are opposite to each other. [12:25 am, June 1]

2. You might not love someone even if you had seen her/him before many times, but some little incident can change it all. [12:05 pm, June 9]

3. We really mean many things in life only the first few time. After that, it's just the mind making the body repeat. [8:44 pm, Aug 12]

4. It's hard to find your match when men are looking for women like their moms and women look for men like their future sons. [1:45 pm, Aug 13]

5. Most often you can't enjoy life if you are intelligent. You've got to be a fool or act foolish to get the real joy in life. [9:03 am, Aug 26]

6. This one's as a poem..
Time's going ahead very fast
But mind's slowing down lookin past.
I fear a day my mind will stop
And then will countless memories do pop!
[I was on a bus traveling through the beautiful malabar countryside; 1:06 pm, Aug 28]

“HISTORICAL DOORSTEP OF THE IRREVERSIBLE”

It’s a pity that the world doesn’t realize where its heading to. It’s a pity that the precious space on this little piece of written work meant for others to read and enjoy be taken up for publishing such an article. It’s a pity that I had to choose, above all, this very topic for writing on. “DESP!”-all might say, but its not with an intention of writing the best essay that I am coining these few paragraphs. The facts are loud and clear. But the greater majority wouldn’t choose to heed it. So there has to be ostensibly “desp” environmentalist characters like me to carry on the message. If the readers are still wondering what this guy is jabbering about, well just read on and perhaps curse me at the end of the article for wasting your time. Here goes…

A conscious attitude about the environment is seldom found amongst people. They cant be blamed, for life has turned out to be that way. Some great son-of-a-philosopher had once commented “We begin to die from the moment we are born”. Just like all idealistic thoughts that we hear quite frequently, this one’s true too. Every thing that has life in it, has to come to an end. Its only a matter of time and the various ‘modus operandi’ of our daily existence that matters. Earth too is filled with far too many lives to count… (do take a few seconds to contemplate on the last sentence)

On one hand we see the “social human life” filled with technical gizmos, fashion, red carpets, wars, accidents, crime etc etc and getting more into next-door-examples, we have our friends getting the latest bikes, mobile phones, silly hours of flirting, break-ups, completing assignments, bunking classes, freaking out for parties, never missing a latest movie at the cinemas etc etc- all that could be related to a normal college life…

As this normal life goes on, on the other side of the perturbed balance lies a façade of earth that only a few even bother to ponder into. Mother nature…flora and fauna…landscapes…snow capped peaks…luscious greenery…wildlife…blooming flowers…all more worthy to be called beautiful than the best girls you can imagine… A different world altogether devoid of terrorism, hatred, prejudices and any negative nuances.

Thats the kind of life that the ‘modern world’ can only dream of. Its not pessimism, but truth is always sour. We have reached too far ahead, we are too advanced to revert back anything. The ‘social human life’ that was mentioned earlier will carry on as it is, taking giant strides in the direction which they think is forward. But an important question- when we go about minding our business, trying most eagerly to bring in as many luxuries as possible, or getting our heads into other’s matters-be it individuals or nations-should we not show atleast a tiny bit of consideration for “earth”? As engineering students under a very “able”(ahem) syllabus, we’ve got plenty of other things to worry about. Global warming, climate change, ozone layer holes, brown clouds, melting ice caps, rising sea levels, endangered species, extinct animals- no, these are not the things that an engineering student should worry about- these are things that every one of us have read about or heard. But what’s the use? Is anyone doing anything to help the cause? Is anyone bothering to spread the word amongst others? Such a dead and boring topic for discussion right, so why bother!

Despite the urgency in the tone of environmentalists and the most sincere climatologists and scientists the world over, little importance is given to take steps to tackle climate change. Changes are inevitable. This might really be a berserk comparison, but just think over the changes that have occurred to you since you first stepped foot on the college premises. Looks, attitude, relationships, fashion…everything. The single burning flame of life within you got changed so much within just a couple of years. The evident reason- plenty of other such burning flames nearby. There’s no escape from the collective inferno. So imagine the extent to which the world’s climate has been withstanding changes since the advent of humanity. It has a life of its own – a life so closely related with that of others. The Creator hasn’t given loads of intellect to all creatures. And the only ones who possess it, take it for granted. The nature’s rhythm had begun to be recklessly encroached upon long back. Climate changes had begun since then, but now its consequences are blanketing on us without a needle’s gap.

The rate at which the climate is being affected by our lifestyles can definitely be controlled, provided the major countries realize and implement stringent measures, and the citizens are prudently educated to follow them. In this regard, the recent ban on plastics was a bold and much-needed enforcement on the part of the government here.

A sad fact is that, despite true-life reports based on long term research and surveys, very little awareness is being propagated by the media. Take for example, the leading dailies in our state dedicate just a small part of a page for such reports and articles. They are doing only what it takes to earn their efforts worth. Large chunks of the literate populace are concerned only with updating themselves on the latest current affairs, exam postponements, sports, gadgets, gossip and so on. Who would want to read a small grayscale report on the planet’s deplorable environmental condition , India’s melting glaciers, the most innocent and beautiful animals being starved to death and so on, when political propagandas, ‘Big Brother’ celebrities, fresh world cups etc fill tons of coloured pages.

So what can we do? I am no great scientist or a political leader to answer that question. This is not a school essay writing competition or an exam question to propose steps to avert global warming. I could very well talk about the media’s role in spreading awareness, people being more sensible and far-sighted in their lifestyles to help save energy etc. But this article was not meant to be published in a primary school environmental textbook either. Its more of an open talk with the person who would be reading this. We have a nature club in the college (no one would have even heard of it) with very few members. Why only few members? That’s the problem. No one’s interested. If they decide on conducting any programme, no one offers any support. Just simply laugh way. Talk about encouraging the use of cycles amongst the modern generation –“Are you nuts?” Tell them to switch off the electronic items not in use- “Who cares! Just a single person following it wont make a difference.”

Good gracious! If only people would understand… if only terms like ‘climate change’ and ‘global warming’ would become common words spoken by the layman…if only school children be bright enough to question the question the present-day validity of their geography text books…if only everyone realizes that the unpredictable rains here are a small part of an impending global upheaval …

The sky is not falling down, and I am not being Chicken Little. I’m only asking you to lend a hand if at all any opportunity springs up to fight for the cause. The words used by the French President Jacques Chirac a few months back formed the title of this article. I’m not being rhetoric, but the coming generations would perhaps understand the true meaning of the title. Pray! Lest it should happen. Back in the school days, my environment club badge had a small caption to it

“We belong to the earth

The earth does not belong to us”

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AEI Oh! You: Stars are just a speck in the sky, What are you?