Confession 2 (Page 1)

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction and any resemblance to characters and incidents in real life are purely coincidental.

When was the last time I saw her? Time flies by in life. But there are moments in life you never forget. They are so clear in your mind..as fresh a memory as it happened just moments ago. It was the batch farewell party and I couldn't take my eyes off her, I never could. It had been like that for 4 years.. the best of my life.

When was the first time I saw her?
"Hey you! come here" I turned my head around, being careful to keep looking down and not look in the eyes of my caller.
I slowly walked up to him.
"What's your name?", he asked.
"John"
"Don't you have a father?" he inquired with a mocking laugh
"John F Xavier" I replied.
"Describe her"
I turned to look at the person standing next to me. She was about my shoulder high. I started to open my mouth when she lifted up her face to look at me. The only thing I saw was the untold helplessness in her deep blue eyes. They were beautiful.

I walked to my class wishing her to be in it. She wasn't there. Destiny's playing dice with me as usual. I exhausted all the contacts I could gather in the college. By the end of first day, I found out which branch she was in and more importantly, her name. That evening, I went to the canteen with my friends. After the snack, we waited for our transportation in the bus bay. Then I saw her again. She was more beautiful than in the morning. I became a regular in the bus bay from then on.

It was just the beginning. I watched her for four years. Every time she walked through the corridor. The times when she laughed aloud or cried silently. Her first love - the hot senior. Their break-up. The guy who consoled her and became her second boyfriend. Her love for chocolates and ice-cream. The tragic death of her father. I knew everything about her but didn't know her. She never talked to me, ever.

Thinking back, she was pretty close to her boyfriend by the time we passed out of college. They must've got married. I never inquired about her to anyone afterwards. It was time to move on.

I've been on the same job for the past 10 years. Boring is the least you can say about it. It goes on and on until yesterday I got a postcard. "Meet me at 10, Desert Mist" Even after 10 years, I could instantly recognise the handwriting. I couldn't sleep the night and after 24 long hours now I am waiting for her. I'd always waited for her..

Here she comes. I can recognise her gait from a distance. She walks into the ice-cream parlour and finds me sitting beside the corner table. I can't take my eyes of her. The feeling's same as the first time I saw her. My heart warms as her beautiful lips part to utter the words-"Stop blogging, I've lots to talk."

Official Logo

It is my addition to the never ending logo competition .
The logo is all about one guy and girl joining hands without seeing each other. But they know each other.If you look closely you will find out why? Because by looking at the long at the long for some time you will some times feel that they are facing each other. Also their legs touch each others, which implies they under stand each other .
By joining hands they enlighten the world(or at least the AEIOES(thats what we call ourselves) thats why the source of light. Which implies that we enlighten the blog together by joining hands.
I choose a girl because thats the only thing we miss in this blog. A guy represents the authors looking at girls at different perspectives.
THE GREY COLOUR REPRESENTS THE ABUNDANCE OF GREY MATTER IN OUR BRAINS.
The slogan is just a holy shit,.....HA..HA...

Review: Aston Shell

Aston shell is a desktop enhancement software.i used it some years before. Just decided to try it again.

The software is available as trial version, just google for it.

I dont know whether it has any security issues or bugs. i haven't had a problem yet. so try it at your on risk.

its good to have the change from the ever-same windows xp. i have tried many themes in xp. but it all have the same look, bad colour combinations. with themes there is very little to alter. so i tried the aston software. its totally cool.

my desktop now looks like this



apart from the totally awesome looks...

- all your drives are listed in the left, including how much storage space is left
- the pic of the computer on the top is "my computer" icon. When u pass ur mouse over it, it has a lovely animation
- direct google search on the top.
- softwares split into groups in the top
- calander comes up when u move mouse over the time
- if u move ur mouse to extreme right or left, a customizable menu comes up listing ur favourite software
- i am writing the article in the option called quicknotes. type/paste in things u want to keep. it is automatically saved.
- custumizable hotkeys. i have given 1 each for firefox, winamp and shutdown

the wallpaper you see isn't part of the software. I got it from a torrent "631 wallpapers 20-Pack Mortallity". each one of them top quality. One of the best wallpaper collections i have ever seen.

it doesnt eat too much of ram. 23MB max is what i have seen.

the only bad side i see is the full version costs a lot of money, adding new icons to the list is a little difficult.

edit: here are the screenshots as kk suggested. it is here

Web Album!!!

Finally my web album is up and running... yippeeeeeeee. My fellow bloggers can access it thru
http://picasaweb.google.com/varuniceman . All sorts of feedback welcome... I plan to add on to it in the coming days...

The Old Guard

The selectors better get their act together and soon. They have got me and I am sure a fair portion of the Indian population irked by their continued ill-treatment of Sourav Ganguly. Damn, he was right in the middle of a purple patch, scoring loads of runs and that too when the team needed them… No matter what silly reasons they come up with for his exclusion, for me it will always remain unjustified. Frankly it is cruel to treat such a great player of his class like this.

This is the guy who was unceremoniously stripped of his captaincy and thrown out of the team about a year back to fend for himself in the wilderness, and the selectors then made it pretty clear that there was very little chance that he would get back into the team. Everyone was quick to write him off and many exalted past greats even advised him to retire. But he fought on without a complaint, bravely, quietly. He worked on his technique, made runs in the domestic circuit and finally got the call back into the team that he thoroughly deserved.

Since the comeback-“Ganguly has been prolific in both Test and ODI cricket in the year 2007. He scored 1106 Test runs at an average of 61.44 (with three centuries and four fifties) in 2007 to become the second highest rungetter in Test matches of that year after Jacques Kallis. He is the fifth highest rungetter in 2007 in ODIs, where he scored 1240 runs at 44.28.”- from the ever reliable wiki… and scored his highest ever test score, his first ever double century in the recently concluded series against Pakistan.

Then they do it all over again, citing a dire need for fresh legs in the team they drop him. Maybe I would have understood if the team was jampacked with slowmoving seniors… but the only senior in the team is Sachin Tendulkar. Wonder what he feels like, the lone survivor of the old guard… the rest of the team picked consists mainly of young guns who haven’t stepped out of the subcontinent yet. I believe the most effective way to groom the youngsters is to let them play alongside greats, like ones we have right now and not by making them play alone in alien conditions. They have to benefit from the experience and advice of the seniors, and they in turn get rejuvenated at the sight of the vitality and fielding prowess on display. Sadly the selectors don’t seem to think in the same direction.

Then there are rumors circulating that Ganguly does not get on well with the juniors and it was in fact Dhoni and Yuvraj who pushed the decision to drop Ganguly. If it was the case I would just like to tell them, first of all try and learn to play proper test cricket, young upstarts. If there were clashes it is more probable it was because of their attitude than Ganguly bossing them round. Learn from them while you can, else you will regret it when they are gone. Learn… I would like to know who else other than Ganguly would have gone back to the drawing board and reworked his stance, his technique and improved his fitness at the age of 34? The very stance and technique that had fetched him more than 10,000 ODI runs at a very good average and established himself as one of the best modern day batsmen, at an age when most men would have considered hanging up their boots and saying “ That’s it, I have done my part for my country” and who could have complained? Considering all the contributions he had already made to Indian cricket…

The best the Indian ODI team has to offer, ie Yuvraj has failed to impress in the longer version of the game, and if Dhoni keeps going like this, i wont be surprised if Dinesh Karthick, who is good enough to claim a place in the team as a pure batsman replaces him as the test keeper. If Dhoni is banking on the belief that he has been a good ODI captain is a reason good enough to keep his place, well he has to look no further than Sourav…

Finally a word to the selectors and the BCCI. It is a well accepted fact that BCCI is currently the powerhouse of world cricket and it has both financial and political clout. But they have to take a moment and think- ‘How did this all come to be?’. The answer is simple – because the seniors they are ill-treating now went out there and played a brand of cricket that was rare- fair and with flair & brilliance. They are the ones who turned this into the most popular sport in the country… brought in the money, and even the admiration of opposing players and citizens of other country. Now they are nearing the twilight zone of their illustrious careers lets give them their due… lets treat them with respect and honor their contributions. And not shut them off before their time is due especially when they have shown that they still have a lot left to offer…

eh?

there is this thing
its years since i last laughed
not even a smile
all these years....
i dont know why
dont u think thats funny
he he
ha ha
lol
roftl
lmao
laughing my head out
i am laughing so hard that i have "laughed-everything-out"
so i have nothing left to laugh with
now i am back where i began

havent u ever felt like you have written something so senseless you cant think of a title for it

i have this problem
i can't get angry
i don't know why it is like that
it might seem like a good thing
but it isn't always good
there are times you should be angry
but i cant understand why i am like this
why am i not getting angry
why? why?
damn i should get get angry sometime
why in hell cant i get angry
damn damn damn
why the f@#$
$*&&*$
&%&*%)*&%
@##$@#@#@@$##@
@#!#$@#$@





i am saved!!!!!

ps: divertido is now bach (pronounced batch)

The King!

"Elvis Aaron Presley (January 8, 1935–August 16, 1977), was an American singer, musician and actor. He is a cultural icon, often known as "The King of Rock 'n' Roll", or simply "The King".
Presley began his career as one of the first performers of rockabilly, an uptempo fusion of country and rhythm and blues with a strong back beat. His novel versions of existing songs, mixing "black" and "white" sounds, made him popular—and controversial—as did his uninhibited stage and television performances. He recorded songs in the rock and roll genre, with tracks like "Hound Dog" and "Jailhouse Rock" later embodying the style. Presley had a versatile voice and had unusually wide success encompassing other genres, including gospel, blues, ballads and pop. To date, he is the only performer to have been inducted into four music halls of fame.......... "

Wiki goes on and on.... Hmm.... well, how come i don't post in the new year yet? Its 7:45 in the morning and i'm sitting in from of ma comp typing out this blog! Hey, you know wat? Today is republic day, yipee!

Eh.... doesn't the fact that today is the republic day cheer you up?? No?? Well, sorry mate,there's nothin i can do about it..

Today i finished downloading some songs of the King! And now you are wondering wat the heck? While browsing through the Arsenal fan site i came to know, his song "The Wonder of You" has been chosen as the official gooner anthem! So i went over to You tube and watched the video!

And to the wonder of me i loved the song! The Elvis mania set in and i queued up some of his songs for downloading.... this morning i finished them and currently i'm listening to one of the songs... I must confess the old bloke with "pseudo-cripples" and a cult following for his unnatural,crazy sideburns has some substance [:D]. He's pretty good.... I'm in love with his songs...Great! No wonder he's The King!

"Its rock and roll time, baby"




----------------
Now playing: Elvis Presley - Jailhouse Rock
via FoxyTunes

KyUn EXAMS Fail hUa..

After every university exam, I'd been fighting back my temptation to write a blog about it. Now I'm writing not 'coz my frustration crossed it's limit, but 'coz I'm finally able to accept that there is no use in fighting a battle that's not ours.

Firstly the maths exams was unexpectedly easy. There ended the 'Happy Days'. The buoyant faces around the campus didn't have a clue what the KU had in store for them in the coming days. I don't wanna relive the experience of the following exams, but those lead to a revelation.

What exactly is the KU trying to do proving all the odds wrong? Why are the questions so unpredictable, which might even be foolishly easy only if we'd studied it. But why didn't we study them? The answer is often simple-they are the most unimportant parts in the whole subject or as it happened in the last exam, we got a whole text wrong.

Little more about the last exam, and I'll continue along the previous line of thought later. Well, the teacher taught us something in a language we couldn't understand. The words written on board were hieroglyphics and to top it all, we were given a excellent book that's extremely hard to decipher. But something about the subject drove us hard into interpreting the whole book (special mention to divertido). Maybe it was the joy of learning, the joy of using our brains properly after a long time. The previous night we even sympathized our teacher with poor communication skills. One minute into the exam changed it all. People referring that exam paper next year would say "It was easy.". They'd never know what went through our mind on seeing questions that didn't even dare to touch the essence of the subject which drained the complete processing power of quad-core brains.

Back to the question of why KU is doing this, I've a possible plausible answer. They playing the lame game that a boy does to impress his girlfriend. Make unpredictable situations and conversations that tries to convince the foolish girlfriend to falsely believe that the boy is naturally great. This artificiality shines through every one of the question papers. That concerted effort to make exam papers that question not the intelligence of each student, but their foolishness. Every question seems to ask the same thing - how foolish of you to leave the simple things and study the hardest parts. KU has been so blinded by the feeling that unpredictable questions bring out the intelligence in someone. They do not realize that it's not unpredictability that checks a students intelligence. A question paper based on the application of what's taught in books, even if the application needs to be derived right then and there, is acceptable by me. I hope that at least in the future the KU realizes that only higher grade application based question papers improve the standard of the university.

Fear

I never asked myself what I fear. I thought I feared none, nothing. But I'd to answer it without my will. I fear the unknown. Unknown is not the faceless nightmare you have. It's not any alien race destroying earth. Then what's the unknown?

Unknown is uncertainty of knowing whether something exists or not. It's the fear of speculating what might happen if it exists. The fear eats you from inside. There's nothing to vent your feelings on because neither are you certain nor are you willing to ask fearing the after-effects.

But one things that's constant in this world is change. So I wish the fear would wash away in the winds of change. The song keeps telling me:

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all okay
And not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
- Hands (Jewel)

Who am I?

No posts still, this year? This is a story I wrote long ago. I'd published it in my personal blog, but most of you might not have read it. My apologies to all who've seen it before. Here it goes:



[With great powers come great responsibility. This is my gift, my curse. Who am I?
-Spiderman, The Movie]

"Being a celebrity is not easy. It is even more harder when you yourself have achieved so much in life." This was the thought that crossed my mind while walking on the beautiful Marina Beach with my friend Emma. I could still recall the events of previous night's Christmas party...

Enjoying a warm kiss from your lover is an experience not to be forgotten. Her lips closer and closer to mine. I can still feel the taste of her lipstick. I'd just started out with Emma...when those damn reporters. They burst out of nowhere, ruining my entire day (night to be exact). Seems like they r born for paparazzi, following me everywhere, waiting to take a snap when i least expect them. The questions they ask...How long have you been dating?...Did you get together during the shoot of "Yeh Jawani"...Are you going to marry?...goes on and on...and they've got their No.1 article for Page 3.

Just when the rapid fire round ended, came the flurry of fans. The fans are good only for one thing, to watch and promote my movies. Otherwise they are hell of a trouble. The rest of the evening was thus spent in writing out autographs for my fans...couldn't reject them because i knew the paparazzi was still around and i din want to have two Page 3 articles in the same weekend.

Back to Emma and the Marina Beach, the problem was still haunting me. Heads turned around from all sides to look at us. Why don't these people leave us alone for a while? Even the beggars in the street had their say in my problems. One child, in torn clothes, and holding an aluminium jar approached us. The jar had few coins in them and he made a weird noise by shaking the jar. I refused to give him money and tried to shoo him away. But instead he turned to Emma and started begging again. I made signs with my hand telling her not to give anything. Suddenly the kid snatched her bag and ran as fast as he could away from the beach. I told Emma to stay right there and started chasing him. That was the last time I saw her...alive.

He was really fast for me. He also had the added advantage of the beach being his territory. He ran into the fishing colony, making me chase him around thatched houses and fishing boats. Then I started hearing the first hints of trouble. I looked behind me. At first i thought it was some kind of a cloud. But it came closer every second, growing larger and larger in size. Devastating was it's effect-the killer wave left nothing behind...she took my love with her. I cried out to return her to me...No she wouldn't. It was entirely my mistake...I should have shed my pride. Seconds later the wave engulfed me. I tried clinging on to a coconut tree that stood nearby...no use. The tree came off the ground. I still didn't give up. Little did i know then that it would save my life. We traveled together for half a kilometer and then the wave stopped. I thanked God for the first time in several years for sparing my life. Then I blacked out...

Days later i regained consciousness for a while. The doctor asked "Who are you?". For the first time in life, I'd been made mute. I turned my head around and saw that the boy who robbed Emma was lying in the bed near mine. I remembered flashes of him clinging on to the same coconut tree. I replied "I'm his father". The doctor cleared his throat and said, "Your son died few moments ago". I wept.