soft softer softest

there are times when you talk to someone but can't actually get through. if the other person gets stubborn, its hell. here is a chat i had with matlab

>> help yourself

yourself.m not found.

Use the Help browser Search tab to search the documentation, or
type "help help" for help command options, such as help for methods.

>> i am right here
??? i am right here
|
Error: Unexpected MATLAB expression.

>> then what did you expect?
??? Undefined function or method 'then' for input arguments of type 'char'.

>> i am not arguing
??? i am not arguing
|
Error: Unexpected MATLAB expression.

>> i dont care whether you expect it or not
??? i dont care whether you expect it or not
|
Error: Unexpected MATLAB expression.

>> now it is the same-reply technique. you will have to do better than that
??? Error using ==> now
Too many input arguments.

>> then lets take one argument at a time
??? Undefined function or method 'then' for input arguments of type 'char'.

>> and you dont want to discuss one argu at a time. you are pathetic
??? Error using ==> and
Too many input arguments.

>> get lost
??? Error using ==> get
Invalid handle.

>> try the other door